Very few happy moments in my kitty..

Its been a long time since I last did something that made me happy. Guess life has become very hectic and I have lost count of the few happy moments I have spent during the past few months. The last time I was satisfied with my existence was when me and my friends spent some time with a couple of kids on the road.
This happened during one of our casual walks towards Marine drive. The three of us have the habit of hanging around after college hours, because we detest leaving each other and going home. Even if one of us is missing, the day seems so incomplete. Gosh, life would have been so scary without you guys!! MUUAAH!!. Yeah coming back to that day's escapade. The three of us spotted four kids of different sizes sitting on a pavement. They were untidy but cheerful. One look at them and the three of us knew what we wanted to do next. After talking to them for some time we realized that they were waiting for someone to feed them a few morsels of that blessed grain. They were hungry.
We bought them some Mishti Doi ( thats what they preferred, Talk about being choosy). And enquired about their parents. A small boy pointed towards a lady sitting under a tree with bunch of red, white and pink roses. I guess she was his mother. I went ahead and spoke to her, to my surpirse she handed me a red rose and my day was made. I seldom forget such gestures by unknown strangers who sometimes appear to be angels in disguise. There are times when your own boyfriend or girlfriend, mother or father, brother or sister are ready to just fuck your mind any moment people like her are there to balance it out!!
CHEERS!

Poems by Russell!

Russell a friend of mine has written a few good poems. I would like to share it with all of you. I keep sharing peices of work written by my friends under the label ' Guest writers'

Woodchop- Russell Mascarenhas


The rising sun over the snowy hills,
Mixed gracefully with the winter chills,
Gives every person to stare at awe,
At the wonderful things made by God.

Far from my house are these Red Wood trees,
Where furry creatures in the moonlight sleep,
Where lovers come and carve their names.
It reminds me of the good old days.

Like a peaceful haven on the mountain top,
The sparrows chirp and the ground is warmth.
My children at the moon doth stare.
In the shelter of the trees so bare

But alas, I am a woodcutter,
And I destroy gods beautiful things,
To feed my children and my wife,
Against getting heavenly wings.

A Grave Tale
- Russell Mascarenhas


With crumbled leaves underneath my feet,
I approach the house where the dead don’t sleep.
The hooting owl and the creaking gate,
may be the last sounds before my fate.

Lost in an illusion with haunting sounds,
Suddenly a hand emerges from the ground.
In my horror I turned and saw,
millions of zombies all around.

The mind tends to play funny tricks,
but this was worse than a horror flick,
a living nightmare I must say,
I must escape some other way.

Armed with guts and an axe in my hand
I cleared away the scum from this land.
Marching forward and taking swings,
I skillfully killed those horrid things.

And as they fell I took a bow,
and received applause from the crowd,
I smile to myself as I’ve done my duty,
the curtain closes, end of story.

City of joys and sorrows.....

Taking a break has become an alien activity for the people of Mumbai. Life is cenetered around a monotonous and never ending cycle of chores that leaves one with very little time to spend with ourselves. Life certainly is not a cake walk but yet things look very easy to achieve and acquire here. Probably that is the because of the 'never say never' attitude that people. Love, hate, betrayal, complassion, jealousy or any other emotion can be experienced in the span of a single day.

Our day starts with abusing the newspaper vendor for ringing the door bell too loud to abusing the errant kids in the building who make your life hell in the evening when all you want is a space with pin drop silence. Hurling abuses and walking ahead is the mantra that all of us seem to have understood very well. We have become workoholic sparrows, home to work and work to home. Life, though doesn't really look complicated but nonetheless it sometimes becomes like a living hell.

One has to fight for everything, right from a window seat to getting a passport made. No wonder we talk about Mumbai's fighting spirit, ( pun intended). I am not trying to demean the place I call my home but just reminding you of the changing times. I totally agree that I have bever seen a city as vibrant and colourful as Mumbai, yet there are time when I long to get away, without a doubt I long to get back as soon as possible. This city is like a sweet bitter truth. One cannot ignore the goodness of it but at the same time one cannot move away from adversities.

RUNAWAY!

I looked at the clock twice, it was some kind of reassurance of the fact that its was the right time. It was twelve and I very well knew Mom was snoring away to glory in the adjacent room. My bags were packed because I was preparing myself for the past three days. Two failed attempts per day , that makes it six...ummm not bad, will help me write a manual on running away from home.

I am tired of the scrutiny and nagging that happens around me all the time. I am 21, a successful media executive, travelled almost half the world, but I am still treated like a kid at home. I need ma own space and my own rules. I know I am giving all these explanations to move away from this shithole.

I feel flustered and claustrophobic. The house I grew up in suddenly seems to eating me up. I see horrible images moving around, maybe because I have developed a particular kind of hate for this place. The people living here make me all the more depressed and that includes my mother and her Lesbian partner, who are up on my ass everyday.

Jane moved in right after my father ran away with our maid. I know sounds like a scene straight out of a movie. My mother seems to have taken settling down with Jane a bit too seriously. I have no qualms about her sexual orientation, but she can definitly find a better woman to spend her life with. Jane is a bitch.......

How does that matter anyway?....Its almost 12.30 now...guess Geroge should be well on his way...WHOOOOSSSHHHHH!

noone to see
noone to believe.
life is like an empty circus
the merry go round
with all the colours around
whirls against the hollow air.....
Up you see the smoke rise,
my dead ashes in the air.

THE LAST LOOK AT THE MIRROR.......

I look at the mirror
dazed and unfazed
my eyes speak a million
the marathon that never ends

I see the unnoticed truth
kept under wraps away from the sun.
Failing to acknowledge,
I stare with a sudden jerk

" Its in pieces..." I cry with a shout
the amber behind houls out loud.
putting an end to the fantasy..
putting an end to life!

sleep like a baby

sleep like a baby,
sleep like a baby, the wind will sing you a song
sleep like a baby....the leaves will calm you down
sleep in the silence, the peace that you need
rest in my arms, I will drive you to the moon
our house rests there on the snowey peak...
will drive away the cold,
coz u in my embrace, light the fire of my love
for u to feel warm
the night will guard us,
when we make love.
Our union was destined...
sanctity along
now sleep like a baby...
as u rest in ma arms!

Not for me!

Love is not for me,
going around the same ol' mulberry...
Speaks to millions on the way...
but has not ever woken me again.

Looking thorugh the windows of hope
I saw it rushing like a cold wind blown..
dark leaves and the browns fade away,
resting in peace like they always stay.

He borrowed the joys my heart had stored
leaving behind an empty room..
locked away in the chest of the old house
like a wine that lives alone..

I thought i'd age with you..
made me imagine my hands tremble with yours
am a ripe fruit yet...
forgotten before the prime could begin!

one year!!!

YIIPPPEEEEE!!! MA BLOG HAS COMPLETED AN YEAR NOW....IT WAS FUN WITH YOU SWEETHEART! MY FRIEND!!
LOVE!

"Where the fuck is my punching bag??"

For the first time I'd be using my blog to vent out my anger. "I don't want to live, I am good for nothing, I am just a piece of shit!!!!! " These thoughts cross our minds a lot of times but most of us sail through it because of our strong support system, like friends, peers sometimes surprisingly even parents. Many say its just one of those teenage growing up negative thoughts or some blaah shit like that. Whatever the fucking reason is, I hate it when I feel like giving up. I hate it when i find the entire world against me as if they are conspiring to make my life hell!

And in these times, trust me, boyfriends are the people you should never ask help from. They say they understand, but actually have no clue of what crap you are talking, for that matter even you wouldnt know!! So what do you do? Talk to friends? who are busy with their own confused teenaged lives? or talk to parents who would defintely tell you everything but calm you down!

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!! I feel like standing on my terrace and shout " FUCK OFFF"!!!!
Guess i should just grab a quick bite of some sinful Chocolate Mousse.............................." Where the fuck is my punching back?"

My mind is a crazy wanderer!!

Life is a joruney.....long, never ending yet exciting. And my mind misses no chance to go on a joy ride on his own. My mind is personified and is free to make his choices. My minds knows every corner of my life like he has been riding the thought bike for ages now. He certainly is smarter than me with the twists and turns.
I have been a constant companion but he is the boss- THE GUIDE. There are times I feel like telling him that it isn't fair for him to rule over me, but he seldom listens to me. I have a dominating mind....constantly scruitinising and on the go! There have been times when he has given me wrong instructions but at the same time I cannot ignore the fact that most of the times he has given me accurate and precise orders.
Long live my not so sane mind! You help me be practical and non-judgemental. You help me think and give me the ability to reason. Thanks for being around. And yeah do not forget about the CAT preparation we are doing together. Dude, you gotta help me here.....LOL.

Russell Peters: “why don’t you see many Indian athletes? Because they are not hardworking”.

Stereotypes are as old as human culture itself. They reflect ideas that groups of people hold about others who are different from them. Stereotypes can be either positive ("black men are good at basketball") or negative ("women are bad drivers"). But most stereotypes tend to make us feel superior in some way to the person or group being stereotyped. Stereotypes ignore the uniqueness of individuals by painting all members of a group with the same brush.
Media has given way to many such stereotypical thoughts like, “All bearded Muslims are terrorists”, portrayal of homosexuals in media or youngsters are restless and impulsive etc. These ideas generate from an event which is later turned into a mass thought process. In the case of stereotypes the mass society theories of media are often discussed because of its impact on people.
Stereotypes of a group of people can affect the way society views them, and change society's expectations of them. With enough exposure to a stereotype, society may come to view it as a reality rather than a chosen representation. The media can be a powerful tool in creating or reinforcing stereotypes. For example people look at India as a country full of snake charmers and elephants walking on the road, which is a general perception. This impression has been largely created by media.
Russell Peters broadly talks about various racial stereotypes focusing mainly on his Indian roots and also South Asian culture. In one of his acts he mentioned why not many Indian athletes are seen on international arena which a few years back was a fact but is no more a reality. Though he clearly once said that he doesn’t create stereotypes he just talks about the already existing ones but what he definitely does is reinforce these stereotypes in the minds of people. His comedy acts belong to the unconventional form of media whose effect might not be far reaching but the message stays with the audiences because the action is happening right in front of their eyes.


Unlike television he makes sure that his message is understood through feedback and interaction. Though he is very carefully while selecting his use of words so as to not get into any kind of controversy. Like once a white guy came up to him and said, “I really like it when you crack those Paki jokes.” And he replied, “'I will knock your f****** teeth out if you ever say that word to me. Have you ever heard me say 'Paki' in my act? No. Then don't f*** with it and twist it.” Here we are introduced to yet another topic about social responsibility and media.
Knowingly or unknowingly a lot of wrong messages are communicated to the people and this also gives rise to stereotypes. It generates through biases and opinionated approach towards a particular community. Russell Peters has often been accused of doing so but all is fine when it comes to fun. Guess taking it with a pinch of salt is his advice to his critics.
Most of Peter’s acts revolve around his upbringing in a white neighbourhood. He has witnessed a lot of prejudices and biases and hence his material is based on these fine lines that make people hate people from other community. Through his comedy acts and wide travelling experiences he has tried to explore this difference. His topics range from India culture, arranged marriages in India, the great Indo-Chinese friendship, perceptions that whites have about Asians. He has also dealt with issues like racial slurs and he claims to call it like he sees it.


Let us critically analyse the content that makes his show so popular with the audience and leaves a few sour.
“If you have a tensed situation, just pop in the Indian accent”, says Peters. He heavily emphasises on how funny English sounds in an Indian accent. Quoting his father and his way of talking, he often has the house laughing their hearts out. But he also cleverly makes it a point to make his fellow Indians feel good by doling out some nice and not so nasty jokes.
He says, “Vietnamese talk English so fast that it almost sounds like Vietnamese again”, “when Koreans speak English it looks like they have had a breathe”. He further adds, “When Chinese speak English it feels like they are chopping words like vegetables.” Traditionally certain accents carry more prestige in the society for example the American accent is considered to be the elitist. The UK accent is considered to be sophisticated while Indian accent is often laughed at abroad. Many Indians settled abroad make it a point to adapt to the local accent so that they do not feel left out or out of place.
He calls china and India as the two largest populations and finishes it with saying, “sooner or later we gonna h*** you”.
In another act he talks about how different cultures are mixing and comes up with really funny terms for mixed breed offspring of such couples. For example, Jewish and Indian can have a Hinjew kid, Cuban and Iceland will have little ice cubes. The funniest is French and Greek together will give birth to Freaks!!!
In his DVD called Outsourced he talks about how Chinese and Indians cannot do business together. Because Indians cannot live without a bargain and Chinese will never let you have one. These stereotypes make an impression in the minds of the audiences that Indians are thrifty and money minded. Moving from business he goes to employment in the US. “Today I saw a very funny thing. A white guy driving a car. This is not right, you cannot steal our jobs.” This statement gives a notion that Indians abroad only drive taxis. But the reality is totally different; many Indians are working in IT sector, research and development. He has promised his fans of a new material in the coming shows about Indian call centres.
“All Asians are Chinese”. This statement can be counted as being a positive stereotype because here he tries to say that all Asians are not Chinese but you have other groups like the Indians, Pakistanis, and Srilankans etc.

Forbidden truth........

I have been left wondering often about the credibility of everything that is true, everything that is untold and kept away from us. The reason things lie in the closet is because either it is untrue or people dont treat it as being factual. There are times when people are not ready for the truth and many times they just want to ignore it. This is what I term as forbidden truth. And am sure we wont fall short of examples if it comes to explaining it........
We fall pray to all kinds of experiences- good, bad, ugly, nasty but truth surpasses all these parameters. It is something that create ripples of unknown emotions and more than anything a sense of neglect. All this while I was talking about the truth the pinches and pricks, truth that becomes unwary of any further explanations.

This time its not me, but a friend who would like to share something......and am more than happy to give her the space...Nikita, keep writing...


YEH DHUAN.....



Have you ever watched someone smoke?
Ever observed the eager fingers flick a match and light up?
The slow, deep breath of restoring nicotine. Drawn in as though inhaling, trying to fill up the whole being with smoke.
Insubstantial. Bearing only vestiges of life. Incipient hope. Reassuring consolation.
A quick look of pained defiance.
And now back to floating in moribund heights of ostensible freedom…

Before I say anything else, I would just like to make it clear that I do not believe that smoking makes people “bad company”. One is not in danger while hanging out with a smoker. Why? Because it’s just isn’t about them!
Smoking is an extremely complex, personal and difficult thing to understand. I still don’t perfectly get it. But I do know enough to make my decision against it. The same goes for drugs and alcohol. I choose not to “indulge” in any of them. Not even try. Not once. And no, that doesn’t make me a dork, just shows how well I know myself. I know very well that even if I just try there’s a really good chance that I’ll be addicted. Many people overestimate themselves and think that it won’t happen. But it does- it’s happened to a friend of min, I’m sure it’s happened to a friend of yours! So what makes you the exception?
The way I see it, the best way to win this battle is to fight before it starts. When the vision is not obscured by towers of smoke, it is easier to look at one’s reflection. And decide…
The worst thing about smoking, to me, is the dependency. The mental hazards are far more debilitating than the physical ones. To know that every day, to get some relief, or to find oneself, one needs that little inflammable wrapped-up object. And quite ironically, smokers are believed to be the most independent and individualistic people.
All in all, it’s not about right or wrong, this issue is a subtle shade of the very same smokey gray. Everyone needs to deal with it in his or her own way. But the important thing is to make sure that we do! And soon…

I am proud of you!!:)

I was really happy to see him after a long time. " Aye!", I called him out and he tried his best to hide away. I went a little ahead to catch a glimpse of his face and for once I knew he was the same little devil, Yuvraj.
I had met him or I would rather say chased him at the same place a few months back. It was a hot afternoon and I was dancing around holding a huge chocolate I had just got from a dear friend. Like a wind he came and snatched away the chocolate and looked back so that I can see the naughty grin.
I ran behind him not for the chocolate but to give him a good lesson. But unfortunately he was faster than me and in no time he was lost in the crowd of millions walking on the road. Determined I stood there for a long time chatting with his friends about his family and discovered the realities of their life something so true and dramatic that even a bollywood director might get inspired to make a movie on.
It was more than an hour but I somehow knew that he would return to his friends and as soon as I spotted him i quickly caught hold of Yuvraj. Scared to even open him mouth he silently said, " Didi , Bhook laga tha" ( I was hungry). After a few rounds of questions he finally told me who taught him to steal. Me and my friends tried our best to make him understand that stealing from someone is really not helpful but somewhere down the line I thought he would do the same thing again.....We took them out for a Vada paav each and returned home with a hope that Yuvraj might just listen to our sermon.
When I saw him today selling those roses I knew he had changed. But the doubtful mind of mine forced me to ask him whether he has stopped stealing and pop came the answer, " Kasam se...abhi nahi churata". ( I swear I do not steal anymore).

Rains wash me away!

RAINS ARE HERE, SWAYING TO THE GOD'S TUNE....
MAKE ME LAUGH AND CRY OUT IN JOY,
LIKE A LI'L CHILD IN THE CRADLE OF LIFE..
SMILING THROUGH THE DRENCHED LEAVES...
LIKE A CUCKOO SITTING ON THE DISTANT NEST....
MOVING AWAY FROM THE DUST THAT SETTLED LONG AGO,
I SEE YOU COMING DOWN IN A RUSH TO CALM OUR LIVES.....
LET ME MAKE THE MOST OF IT,
BECAUSE I WILL MISS YOU FOR ANOTHER SEASON...
WHEN YOU WILL REST.

A man should always keep a track of all the happy moments that maketh his life! says who? Says me...... :)

These days nothing seems to make me sad except for a few incidents that are to be forgotten with passing time. But overall it has been a great period of life.

Work keeps me busy, friends keep me happy and a secret infatuation keeps me giggling. It is nothing but just a feel good factor, a passing though amidst the mundane cycle of my hectic schedule. Even when I lay in sickness all I do is smile in between the regular bouts of coughs and sneeze out virus every second minute.

So as i take out some time and move off my bed, I see the world waiting to embrace me and I stand in ecstacy to reciprocate. Hope this phase stays on and never fades away...

A rendezvous with Goa

When in Goa do as the Goans do- eat, drink and be merry!! Lazy, lethargic and a jolly survival define the lifestyle of this place. I have visited Goa before, but this time I was there with a mission, to explore the unexplored and to travel the less traveled. Blessed with lush green landscape, swaying coconut trees and deep blue sea is the small state of Goa.
One will agree that Goa has been rendered with all the bounties of nature, rich tradition and a vast cultural history. Glimpses of Portuguese architecture mixed in a true Konkani atmosphere provides us the perfect blend of the oriental and the occidental combo.
Armed with a camera, a notepad and a pen I started off from the ancient Church in Old Goa.


1) Tower of the church of Saint Augustine: - This is a forty meter high colossal four storied, arched, belfry tower built by Laterite stone. An abandoned church now, it was once a convent and a church bustling with devotees. What remain now are ruins and the high walls of the church building. It had eight chapels, four altars and an extensive convent with numerous cells. The church was built in 1602 by the Saint Augustine Friars.
In 1835 this complex was abandoned due to the expulsion of the religious orders from Goa and the Portuguese Government ordered the demolition.












2) The Basilica of Bom Jesus: - Bom Jesus means “good” or “infant” Jesus. It was started in 1594 and consecrated in 1605. The holy body of Francis Xavier is kept in this church. Situated in old Goa this is a world heritage monument now.

3) Shanta Durga Temple: - This is one of the most prominent temples in Goa. It is also considered to be the sacred abode by the Goans. It draws devotees from all the corners of the world. A powerful deity Shanta Durga is believed to make all wishes come true.

It has a very old structure, something that is typical in all the temples lined along the Konkan strip. A very common sight outside every temple is the very artistically made “Deepastambh”, literal meaning being, “the pillar of lights”.

4) Big foot Museum of Loutolim: - A part of the ancestral Goa, the big foot has the relics of ancient Goa and the Portuguese style of living in prominent. Big foot has been built along the legend of an ancient folk tale. The local legend goes that, a wealthy landowner by the name of Mahadar blessed with a deep sense of duty and unending goodness, helped the local poor. Greedy neighbors wishing to take advantage of his naiveté kept on asking him for help till one day fleeced all his possessions and destitute with the loss of his wife, he was left alone. The Gods pleased with his devotion granted him immortality only if he paid penance by standing on one foot atop a rock. This done Mahadar was taken to heaven whereupon, the footprint he left behind promised luck to whosoever stood on it with a heart free from greed and malice.
The auspicious footprint still exists and is believed to grant all the wishes one asks for there.

5) Fort Aguada: - The fort Aguada was built in 1612 and it comprises of a lower fort with Bastions all around and an upper fort. It skirts the sea shore and ascends the summit of the bare rock, uplands called the Aguada point. The upper fort was built as avantage point to serve as a fort and a watering station to the ships. It comprises of a Moat, an underground water storage chamber, a light house, gun powder room and Bastions. It also has a secret escape passage to use during the time of emergency.

The word Aguada means “watering place” in Portuguese. The storage capacity of the water tank is 23, 76,000 gallons. It has five divisions with a support of 16 huge columns and a staircase to ascend.A light house at initial stage used to emit light once in seven minutes. In 1834, it was updated to emit light creating an eclipse every 30 seconds. However this old light house was abandoned in 1976.

Doodh Sagar Waterfalls: - Doodh Sagar literally means “ocean of milk”. This waterfall got its name because of the white cascading water that falls from a height of 300 meters in two segments. An aqueduct of the South Central railway passes through the waterfalls.

This waterfall is situated in the core of Mollem national park and is spread across an area of 107 sq.km The River Doodh Sagar is a source of a major drinking water in Goa.
The forest department has special arrangements to take you inside the dense forest. The falls are hidden almost 12 kms inside the forest.
A rumbling noise of some animal might just scare you, but without an adventurous jerk, there lies no fun in your picnic.

By now you must have realized that Goa, in spite of being a small state has an excellent potential to lure the travel and tourism industry. A little initiative from the Goa Tourism can fend them excellent results.

Thus my small and wonderful voyage came to an end but now as I write nostalgia sets in and I am automatically taken back to that heavenly abode.

As I walk across the wonderful sight,

I am lost in a trance and blinded by the beauty and bold,

of those hills and trees, that stood strong through

the sun, winds and cold.

May change never creep in, because nothing can

ever match the serene abode.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/loving_the_camera/

I AM BLOGGING AFTER A REALLY LONG TIME. IT IS MORE LIKE A STRESS BUSTER NOW. SO IF IM SAYING THAT I HAVEN'T BLOGGED FOR A LONG TIME AM I SUGGESTING THAT I WAS NEVER STRESSED OUT IN ALL THESE DAYS?


NO NO NO! IN FACT I WAS SO BUSY AND TIRED, THAT STRESS SEEMED THE ONLY WAY I COULD REST. THANKFULLY SLEEP AND GOOD FOOD ALWAYS COME HANDY. ITS BEEN MORE THAN A MONTH THAT IM WORKING WITH HINDUSTAN TIMES. FIRST WEEK- AMAZING
SECOND WEEK- TIRING BUT AMAZING.
THIRD WEEK- BORING BUT TIRING.
FOURTH WEEK - AMAZING YET BORING.
FIFTH WEEK- ????????


THIS IS NOTHING OF WHAT I EXPERINCED THERE. . . .
IM YET TO SUM UP WHAT EXACTLY I LEARNT, UNDERSTOOD...MIGHT EVEN TAKE AGES TO DO THAT MAYBE.

My w'e'ired existence!

Enter my room and you will find a huge pile of books, clothes and the long snake like stuff – wires lying around. You try to move in and you will find yourself entangled in these wires. Wires of different shapes, sizes and for different purposes.
In one corner is my computer, wired to the plug point and thousands of chords hanging from it, may it be for the printer, the web camera, the internet connection or the speakers. Move away from it and you are sure to trip over the numerous USB chords lying all over the floor, one for the MP3 player the other for the digital camera or another for the cell phone. Then finally when you think that this should be the end of the entire fracas another set of chords welcome you to my “wired” abode. They are the chords that charge my digital gadgets. Then there are these other teeny meeny wires trying to make their presence felt in spite of being over shadowed by their bug brothers, the earphones the handsfree or the headphones.
I am pretty sure, by now you must have finished taking a visual-mental trip of my room. A room that makes me feel like a machine. No doubt these gadgets have made life easy for me, but at the cost of my health- physical and mental both, strengthened my dependence on them and have made me a handicap! They have robbed me off my relationships, my ability to lead life without them and have strangled my intelligence. I no longer can think independently. Though the computer memory is more than enough to store data it is leaving my cerebral memory to rust. For example I no longer carry out mental calculations all I do is use my cell phone for it. i have stopped carrying my sweet little Oxford’s Dictionary or my Roger’s thesaurus with me. In need of a word I just use the internet or the stored words in the digital dictionary.
If coffee gives me the required kick to stay up all night, all I do is waste my time reading and re- reading internet articles. Even my newspaper guy is unhappy because I have stopped buying the newspaper from him. Why should I when I have the E- edition ready for me- free, easy- just log in and use. Am I complaining or rejoicing over my condition is yet to be determined but one thing is for sure, it wont take me long to get into hibernation all over again and take a break from my w ‘e’ired existence.

THANK YOU, ID!

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I LOVED YOU ID! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR NOT LETTING EGO AND SUPEREGO RULE OVER YOU. . . I FELT GOOD WHEN YOU HAD A COMMAND ON ME, I CHERISHED EVERY MOMENT, I ENJOYED EVERY BREATHE I TOOK, I ENJOYED EVERY SENSE THAT FILLED MY MIND!
SOMETIMES I FEEL VERY BAD FOR YOU. PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS SUPRESSED YOU, THEY NEVER LET YOU TALK , THEY NEVER LET YOU LIVE. WHY YOU MAY ASK AND I GUESS YOU KNOW THE REASON. YOUR PLEASURE PRINCIPLE ALWAYS DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT TO THEM. BUT I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME. I KNOW WITHOUT YOU I WONT LIVE. YES THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I DIN'T LISTEN TO YOU BUT TRUST ME I STILL LOVE YOU.
MY DEAR ID, THIS IS SPECIALLY FOR YOU,
PEOPLE MIGHT NOT REALISE YOUR WORTH
PEOPLE MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND.
BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS REMAIN THE PRIMARY,
THE PRIMARY OF ALL...
THE CREATOR, THE SUSTAINER AND THE MOTIVATOR!