Deja Vu (though am not very fond of the word)

It freaks me out when certain films seem like my life playing out on screen. Does that happen to you?
And it's weird because I have seen 'Suburban Girl' before and never thought about it that way, until it ended the way a certain episode in my life did. 
So Brett (an associate editor at a NY publishing house) falls madly in love with much older, much successful Archie (Baldwin being his usual charming self) and figures out how wrong the whole affair turned for her. 
Also the film features one of my favourite songs, 
"Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah"

I remember saying this to my friends once, " I know, it's nuts, but when I'm with him I feel like a better version of myself... You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier."
Of course the film did not end all that happy but most importantly like Brett says, "Because you like to run away. It's part of who you are". 

Damn you!

All of us are destined to have at least one heartbreak. Its one of those unwritten rules.  Its vital, important, must-do, obligatory and all the other synonyms you can think of.

And yes, there is no escaping it, You cannot run away from or hide from it, even if you try to, it comes chasing right after you.

You may want to seem strong to the world outside but deep inside you know you are broken.

Off load

A really big and important part of me decided to part ways with me. It wasn't sudden. I saw it coming since the day it became a part of me.


I've been such a fool.

Six hours in Shillong

Shillong happened just like that. On an evening when I was supposed to be in Delhi, on a whim I decided to first go to Guwahati and then to Shillong. I took the first flight out and with just two days in hand head out to a place I had only heard of or read about.


I planned to travel with a Maharashtrian family who were staying in the same hotel as I and we shared a cab together right upto Shillong. I had six hours, a bunch of strange people for company and whole lot to see. It wasn’t exactly an ideal situation but I wanted to make the most of all that I had. Though the initial plan was to travel to Tinsukhia, but my Daddy rubbished all demands within minutes of putting it forward and I settled for Shillong.

The drive from Guwahati to Shillong was laced with more than just potholes. What caught my fancy were tribal women selling neatly cut pineapple and jackfruit all along the highway. Not to forget the spicy bamboo pickle, I think it is the only pickle that I’d ever like to have considering I hate pickles. The weather was gloomy, the mountains green and people friendly. I read somewhere that the only places one can locate any culture is in its people and their behaviour.


It was a perfect milieu of bonhomie and a whole lotta love. Now there is something more to this story which may also be the reason for me smiling ear to ear throughout the drive. It was so overwhelming that I could even get through the pain of travelling with a bunch of people who knew nothing about the place or its people; they were just there to spend money and boast of a vacation to a far off land.


As I neared Shillong I saw why my friends gushed about Shillong so very often. There were tiny houses, pretty girls in their best and little boys with pink cheeks waving at every passing car. Group of teenage boys strumming Californication on their guitars and all of it happened in perfect rhythm. Music was everywhere, to the extent that I paused  my iPod and within seconds put it off. I wanted to hear the sounds of Shillong and sink into the sights of the city. As instructed by a friend I headed straight to City Hut for a nice meal and strolled around the Police Bazaar locating places I had only heard of before.

                                    
Next pit stop was the View Point. The winding roads up to the point had by now drenched in rains and very little was seen of the Military area around it. As I stepped out of my car, I sudden spell of cold gripped all of me. It was too much of a change from the warmness of the city to the chills of the mountains. I saw all of Shillong washed in bright sunshine from where I was.


Like this very piece my trip was half done too. I couldn’t see more than half of the places I wanted to. Couldn’t listen to all the beautiful music I wanted to, couldn’t meet all the people I wanted to yet. Yet I loved every bit of whatever little I saw. So a next one should be planned soon. Till then, a little tip for all travellers: Never travel with ignorant fools, trust me no matter how smart you are, they will make you feel like a fool as well. I wish I had known. 

Its not just a book..

This is one of my most favourite poems.. 

Love for This Book - 
Pablo Neruda
 

In these lonely regions I have been powerful
In the same way as a cheerful tool
Or like untrammeled grass which lets loose its seed
Or like a dog rolling around in the dew.
Matilde, time will pass wearing out and burning
Another skin, other fingernails, other eyes, and then
The algae that lashed our wild rocks,
The waves that unceasingly construct their own whiteness,
All will be firm without us,
All will be ready for the new days,
Which will not know our destiny.
 

What do we leave here but the lost cry
Of the seabird, in the sand of winter, in the gusts of wind
That cut our faces and kept us
erect in the light of purity,
as in the heart of an illustrious star?
What do we leave, living like a nest
of surly birds, alive, among the thickets
or static, perched on the frigid cliffs?
So then, if living was nothing more than anticipating
the earth, this soil and its harshness,
deliver me, my love, from not doing my duty, and help me
return to my place beneath the hungry earth.

We asked the ocean for its rose,
its open star, its bitter contact,
and to the overburdened, to the fellow human being, to the wounded
we gave the freedom gathered in the wind.
It's late now. Perhaps
it was only a long day the color of honey and blue,
perhaps only a night, like the eyelid
of a grave look that encompassed
the measure of the sea that surrounded us,
and in this territory we found only a kiss,
only ungraspable love that will remain h

Economics

Travelling in Poona is very  expensive, especially if you do not own one of those bikes. And Dad you tricked me :X . Anyways


Here is how I look at it


Auto fare from home to office and back= 100 X 2 = 200/-  + 20/-  extra charges post 10 pm (yeah 10 is late night here..whatte city)


 220/- = cost of two packs of Benson

coincidental

What is it that we have
I begin and you end
you feel and I express
I think about you and it beeps

Its our dona paula magic you say
its what we call magic
its our love

New love

When the lights go out
I float like a cloud
Looking for you
Through darkness and sky

When the lights go out
I yearn for you
Tossing in my bed
All I want is you

When the lights go out
I die
Thinking about you
I come alive