Momentary lapse

So another year has ended and a new one has begun. This transition, in my opinion, should last longer. I often wish there were some way to probably create a stopover, or an interval or some kind of a time lag before things start moving again. I would like to take a moment to think, to analyze how to make the next year better and not to make same mistakes again.

Each year, when people are kissing the air and wishing each other good luck for new year, I am left wishing what if the clock stops ticking right when it strikes midnight.
I wish to take a breath, I wish to sit down on a bench in a quiet park, I wish to soak in the moment before moving on. This is never going to happen.
 I always feel I am being rushed into something, and that feeling just spoils the fun for me. Almost always.

Conversations

Do you think I am crazy?

No

I think you are eccentric

You are what I would call walking into an abyss

I never know where my conversations are headed when I am with you and am not even complaining, I quite enjoy that about you.

Oh, you are just saying that because you want me to feel ok

No, why would I do that. I have nothing to lose. I know you quite like me already

How can you be so confident?

I see that when you look at me, I see that when you touch yourself nervously, I see that when you keep looking away after catching my attention, I see that when you blush, I see that when words come out of your mouth all mixed up.

I guess you must know women really well

I would like to say I know them well enough to spot the one I would fall for

Are you saying that you are falling for me

Well what if I am

Then I would say you are crazy
*kiss*

Deja Vu (though am not very fond of the word)

It freaks me out when certain films seem like my life playing out on screen. Does that happen to you?
And it's weird because I have seen 'Suburban Girl' before and never thought about it that way, until it ended the way a certain episode in my life did. 
So Brett (an associate editor at a NY publishing house) falls madly in love with much older, much successful Archie (Baldwin being his usual charming self) and figures out how wrong the whole affair turned for her. 
Also the film features one of my favourite songs, 
"Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah"

I remember saying this to my friends once, " I know, it's nuts, but when I'm with him I feel like a better version of myself... You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier."
Of course the film did not end all that happy but most importantly like Brett says, "Because you like to run away. It's part of who you are". 

Damn you!

All of us are destined to have at least one heartbreak. Its one of those unwritten rules.  Its vital, important, must-do, obligatory and all the other synonyms you can think of.

And yes, there is no escaping it, You cannot run away from or hide from it, even if you try to, it comes chasing right after you.

You may want to seem strong to the world outside but deep inside you know you are broken.

MUST DO #107

                               Because music will never abandon you, deceive you or leave you.

Off load

A really big and important part of me decided to part ways with me. It wasn't sudden. I saw it coming since the day it became a part of me.


I've been such a fool.

The new room :)

Will add more pictures as I make newer additions.. 

Newer things and nostalgia

Life certainly has changed since the last post. I now write for people living on a distant continent, very different from mine. People I have known about through sitcoms and endless rom-coms. I live not only different time zones but also different identities, not to forget my poor body clock which is completely messed up right now.

It’s like a little bit of me belongs there as well. So if a neighbourhood bagel shop shuts I know how it feels. Not because I visited it as a little girl, but because people who read my stories have done that once in their life and it matters to them (btw the much featured and loved Bagel shop in upper west side is shutting down. This quintessential Bagel place appeared on TV series such as Friends and Seinfeld.)

I have also moved a few hundred kilometres away from loved ones and friends. I live in a different city now. Of course I am settling down to its groove but Bombay is and will always remain my first love, followed closely by Paris of course ;)

Bangalore is the fourth city I am living in the last two years. I hope to write more about the new place, new experiences and all the lovely people I meet.

Also I am dying to watch Midnight in Paris by Woody Allen, only if I find a decent copy somewhere..

Why so random - II

I hate people who try too hard to be random. I know this is the second time I am ranting about it on the blog, but it is just too much to handle. It’s not these acts of randomness but the reason why they do it, that gets on my nerves.



Get attention. Now being random is very post-modern, but trying to get attention is so not! Convince me that you truly believe in all that you say not by overdoing it but by living by it.


So next time you spot someone trying to be all over the place in the name of post modernity, please stop and slap their butts. Do not encourage such people because that is exactly what they are looking for.


Exist because you love to rather than to prove a point. Try to be cool because you are born that way rather than putting an act on. It is so not cool.

Note to self

It is quite a wonder how most of my reflective experiences occur in unusual places namely the toilet seat, in the bathroom while washing clothes or while waiting in the queue to fill water amongst many others.



Today while washing truckloads of clothes that accumulate due to my habit of changing clothes at least four times a day, it occurred to me how I need to adjust my focus. For a very long time a constant thought had been bothering me. I simply could not pinpoint on the reasons but at the back of my mind, it kept nibbling on my tiny brain.


As I was clearing out my stack of dirty laundry, I was simultaneously clearing out my mind as well; very metaphorical it turned out to be. I smiled and thought of putting down this experience on the blog.


It occurred to me that, though I am existing now I need to start living again. Do things I used to do to be happy. Think of good things so I dream of them at night. Though I know all of this will happen only after the next five months pass. But at least I can look forward to the time after so that these five months pass soon.

“A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”  Bob Dylan

You are what you read

A very funny thing happened today. I and my roommate were having a very casual conversation. She suddenly looks at my stack of books on the rack and says, "The other day X came to our room and couldn't believe you read all that. She didn't know you were smart enough to read James Joyce." I couldn't help but smile. Sometimes it makes me wonder how many people on this planet are judging me right now? I wear pink does that mean I am a bimbette? I love shopping, so that makes me a spoilt brat? I don't scream out of my lungs to  put forward a point in class, so does that make me dumb? I don't publicize myself so does that mean I am not good enough?

It is very surprising how we have categories for people and how we put them in these categories in spite of not knowing them enough. It amazes me how little we think of each other and so much about ourselves. What makes us gloat or be pompous to the extent of making exhibitions of ourselves. Why do we feel the need to prove a point all the time?

Co-incidentally I was having a conversation with another friend who happened to tell me how I don't feel the need to be out there. Well yes she is right.

All that is on

It was a fairly good weekend. On second thoughts it was one of the best weekends in a long time. A and I sneaked S inside our hostel which was not a big task. We partied all night long and slept off ranting intellectual shit!



Today was made because of the awesome Almond Tarts, they were heavenly. A walk around the quaint little lanes of Koregaon Park can be so inspiring was also discovered only today. Lush green, purple air and blue skies.


The rest remains the same with a little change maybe, I smile a lot now <3

Popistic Paris

Inspired by: Andy Warhol and his popism

Wall goes colourful

more shall be added soon as an when the colous drip off the brush!

Sums up!

This place is not fit for the fearless brave hearts, but ideal for the timid. The ones who find strength in other people's weakness. The ones who hold higher moral grounds in spite of their stained consciences. So what exactly are they achieving? Are they hiding in the burrows of their disparity by making life miserable for those brave hearts? The timid gets away with this behaviour because timid lives in a constant anonymity but the brave hearts are the most visible. Their actions are noticeable sometimes even generate curiosity, jealousy or plain defencelessness amongst the timid. The timid hide their incompetency not by overdoing the brave heart but by bringing the brave heart down by hook or crook. 

Food for thought if not your conscience...

Will cynics ever make good journalists? In a school where every student should be taught about truth, values and ethics are instead made to give in to the system. Instead of teaching them to stand for themselves, the so called educators are making cowards out of these poor pupils. By either threatening them of losing a chance to make a good career or by making futile promises they are trying to gag their mouths.

We are living in such vulnerable times.

Right now

I hate loathe being taken for granted. It is settling in quick and I do not like it one bit. Just because I am not obnoxiously upfront doesn’t mean I do not mind, it just means I am being patient. And one should under no condition test it beyond a point. Do not drive me to do things I don’t want to because if I do, I won’t regret them under this condition. I see no wrong in it right now.



I don’t scream or shout. I am not difficult. All I ask for is a little bit of this and that which comes for no money. All it takes is a red heart. A big one.


I am not threatening or warning. I am simply speaking to my blog.

My virtual Bombay

What do I do to keep in touch with Bombay when I am not in Bombay?

1.       Subscribe to Brown Paper Bag and read it religiously. The two scouters are like my saviors. CNNgo  is pretty cool too.

2.       For all the Bluefrog  gigs that I do not make it to, I have Awdio. It is the coolest thing ever only if you have good internet speed.

3.       Read highlighted lines from the Maximum City by Suketu Mehta and Shantaram

4.       Get updates from fellow Bombaywallahs.

5.       Snap at people who call it Mumbai or Mumbhaaai or Mumbaeee.

6.       Dream of Bombay every night

I need some Bombay 

<3

I love metaphors

What could be the worst kind of self-realisation? Mine is more like a one act play. It sort of brings me down at times, I have no one to blame. It starts with me and ends with me. I drag along others to play their part, sometimes they fit the bill but most of the times their presence just fucks up my script. It turns out to be quite a play. Real emotions, tears and resonating evil laughter in the hall. There is always a bad guy and I play that role really well. In the end you know who wins? The bad guy is aware of my Achilles heel, the bad guy knows that I am vulnerable, impulsive and an ugly thinker. I do not wish to repeat the show anymore. It was a bad script, just like a bad nightmare.