I may not have profound things to talk about, I may not be random enough for your taste, but whatever I do I have always been true to us. I write truth and I breathe truth.
I may not have painted the world, but I am a connoisseur of colours. I take the brush and I paint a stroke of truth.
I may not have it all sorted out, but I know am going to be good, good enough to make you happy, good enough to be true
I may not be beautiful, but I wont hide my flaws either, because that is again the truth and I will never run away from my scars
I may have not known a million things, but am always eager to learn more. I am always a true student.
I may not be the best lover, but all I know is that my love is true, that my tears are true and my joys are true.....
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Things to do...before i die
I have a list...keeps extending as i grow, learn, unlearn, experience, talk, sing...
1. Visit Venice
2. Learn to play Violin
3. Speak fluent French
4. Open a small cafe in some small town
5. Have roomful of books
6. Find my talent
7. Buy the "real" Volkswagen Beetle
8. Create something with you (now this one's a little vague because I don't know what I want to make)
9. ...................
1. Visit Venice
2. Learn to play Violin
3. Speak fluent French
4. Open a small cafe in some small town
5. Have roomful of books
6. Find my talent
7. Buy the "real" Volkswagen Beetle
8. Create something with you (now this one's a little vague because I don't know what I want to make)
9. ...................
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Awareness reaches your doorstep
I had written this one long time back and forgot to post it. Just when I was going through my blog folder I stumbled upon this one.
As we are progressing towards a better future as a nation, there are a lot of issues pulling us down, majority of them concerning women in India. We are a nation of more than a billion but the sorry state of our sex ratio spells it all out. Increasing female infanticide, domestic violence, rise in crime against women show that the progress will be rendered meaningless because of this large disparity amongst the two genders.
Warning signs
Off late issues concerning women are making the headlines. May it be the recent ringthebell.com campaign or television serials like Balika Vadhu, awareness about women’s issues has reached the bedrooms of every household. Launched by human rights organisation Breakthrough India, the Bell Bajao (Ring the Bell) campaign urges people to ring the door bell when they hear about domestic violence in a house. Their impressive ad campaigns with Boman Irani as the ambassador may not have garnered enough eyeballs but have definitely penetrated into a few layers of the society. The world statistics of domestic violence translates into 960,000 reported incidences of violence, against current or former partners every year. Three million women are abused every year by their husbands or boy friends.
Domestic violence doesn’t just occur in lower middle class or poor households but can happen to anyone. Just few days back singer and composer; Adnan Sami’s wife filed a complaint against him for domestic violence. Such news makes us think as to where be we leading as a society. Despite the Indian government enforcing The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in 2005, crimes against women are reported everyday. Indian women have always been subjected to such atrocities, may it be at workplace, at home or even on the roads. Right from her birth to her death, a woman goes through million experiences that may have harmful effects on her. It is quite worrying that nothing much on policy level is being achieved to curb it.
Losing the Ys
Colors channel of the TV18 network has a new offering, ‘Is desh na aana ladoo’ focuses on female infanticide. The gory visuals used as promos are stark enough to get attention for the cause. The sex ratio is falling at an alarming rate, as more and more people are going in for sex determinations. In rural areas where a lot of people do not have access to sex determination facilities, female infanticide is shockingly common. The parents wait until the mother gives birth, and when they find out that a daughter is born, they go ahead and kill the baby by adopting various means such as strangling the baby, giving her poison, dumping her in a garbage bin, drowning her, burying her alive, starving her, stuffing her mouth with salt, or leaving her outdoors overnight so she dies of exposure. This practice is rampant in parts of Rajasthan, where the baby is put into a huge bowl of milk and killed.
Media watch
Balika Vadhu comments on most social issues against women like dowry, child marriage, infanticide and is highly popular amongst all classes. In India there is a crime against women in every three minutes, one rape every twenty nine minutes and one recorded case of dowry death in every seventy seven minutes. Cases of cruelty meted out by husbands and in laws are seen in every nine minutes. Idea cellular service’s new advertisement has a girl giving it back to eve teasers in truly commando style. For that matter even the viewership of K serials in diminishing as more and more women are hooked onto serials with social messages. As we wake to the problems facing women in India, one does really wonder many more lives do we have to sacrifice till we learn to respect women.
As we are progressing towards a better future as a nation, there are a lot of issues pulling us down, majority of them concerning women in India. We are a nation of more than a billion but the sorry state of our sex ratio spells it all out. Increasing female infanticide, domestic violence, rise in crime against women show that the progress will be rendered meaningless because of this large disparity amongst the two genders.
Warning signs
Off late issues concerning women are making the headlines. May it be the recent ringthebell.com campaign or television serials like Balika Vadhu, awareness about women’s issues has reached the bedrooms of every household. Launched by human rights organisation Breakthrough India, the Bell Bajao (Ring the Bell) campaign urges people to ring the door bell when they hear about domestic violence in a house. Their impressive ad campaigns with Boman Irani as the ambassador may not have garnered enough eyeballs but have definitely penetrated into a few layers of the society. The world statistics of domestic violence translates into 960,000 reported incidences of violence, against current or former partners every year. Three million women are abused every year by their husbands or boy friends.
Domestic violence doesn’t just occur in lower middle class or poor households but can happen to anyone. Just few days back singer and composer; Adnan Sami’s wife filed a complaint against him for domestic violence. Such news makes us think as to where be we leading as a society. Despite the Indian government enforcing The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in 2005, crimes against women are reported everyday. Indian women have always been subjected to such atrocities, may it be at workplace, at home or even on the roads. Right from her birth to her death, a woman goes through million experiences that may have harmful effects on her. It is quite worrying that nothing much on policy level is being achieved to curb it.
Losing the Ys
Colors channel of the TV18 network has a new offering, ‘Is desh na aana ladoo’ focuses on female infanticide. The gory visuals used as promos are stark enough to get attention for the cause. The sex ratio is falling at an alarming rate, as more and more people are going in for sex determinations. In rural areas where a lot of people do not have access to sex determination facilities, female infanticide is shockingly common. The parents wait until the mother gives birth, and when they find out that a daughter is born, they go ahead and kill the baby by adopting various means such as strangling the baby, giving her poison, dumping her in a garbage bin, drowning her, burying her alive, starving her, stuffing her mouth with salt, or leaving her outdoors overnight so she dies of exposure. This practice is rampant in parts of Rajasthan, where the baby is put into a huge bowl of milk and killed.
Media watch
Balika Vadhu comments on most social issues against women like dowry, child marriage, infanticide and is highly popular amongst all classes. In India there is a crime against women in every three minutes, one rape every twenty nine minutes and one recorded case of dowry death in every seventy seven minutes. Cases of cruelty meted out by husbands and in laws are seen in every nine minutes. Idea cellular service’s new advertisement has a girl giving it back to eve teasers in truly commando style. For that matter even the viewership of K serials in diminishing as more and more women are hooked onto serials with social messages. As we wake to the problems facing women in India, one does really wonder many more lives do we have to sacrifice till we learn to respect women.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A page from my diary
I thought a lot before posting this one, but had to because I have promised to keep this blog as open and true as I can. This blog started out three years back with the purpose of being a friend, who is always listening, but like any relationship we went through our ups and downs. But now we are back with a bang like many other relationships in my life.
The state that am in right now whether happy or sad is because of certain things that I have seen, felt and heard.
Here is a page from my diary:
“I want to be your everything” he texted, I stopped midway while crossing a busy street, thankfully dint get run over. Read and read it again, my eyes welled up a bit. I looked around and smiled to myself and walked away. I thought about my reply to him for quite some time, couldn’t find the right one, but at the same time did not want to just let the moment go. Days passed, we got closer, and we spoke more. I was still looking for an appropriate answer.
I suppose my heart always knew the reply, I just did not have the courage to accept it. I was scared of being hurt, though I have never tasted the feeling but I had heard horrible stories for sure. Today I know what I want. I want YOU!
I have never been happier, friends have never seen me this way before. What have you done to me? I never wanted to fall for you, but couldn’t stop myself anymore. Yes I have fallen for you, “head over feet” . I hope none of this ever changes.
Can you hear me calling
Out your name
You know that am falling
And I don’t know what to say
7th December 4.30 pm:- found my answer, I said it, “I LOVE YOU”. He was quiet for a few seconds and a million questions rose in my mind. I waited for him to say something, and he hugged me, I got my answer. I think I have never felt this way before. I am in love and it feels like heaven. All wrong seem right, there is an undying faith that keeps me from feeling downbeat about anything.
There are certain things in life that you have to do to be happy. You may think of me as a selfish person, but being happy shouldn’t be called selfish. I want to live for myself. You have taught me to love, but now I want to share this love with someone I think deserves it, I want to love him with all my heart. I will always be thankful to you for everything, for loving me so unconditionally, for making me feel special, for being there whenever I need. I know am going to hell for hurting you but I want to live happy at least till I die and go to hell. I have lied to myself several times, but the truth is I got to stop this. You may be perfect for me, but I am not. I am not the one for you. And I had to do this for you as well, I don’t want to continue being with you and put you through this lie, because at the end of the day its just pretence. You know me, I can’t pretend, I can’t pretend to be in love when I am not.
My heart is aching thinking about what you are going through at this point. I know you will get over me soon. I hope you do….. Will never forget you!
The state that am in right now whether happy or sad is because of certain things that I have seen, felt and heard.
Here is a page from my diary:
“I want to be your everything” he texted, I stopped midway while crossing a busy street, thankfully dint get run over. Read and read it again, my eyes welled up a bit. I looked around and smiled to myself and walked away. I thought about my reply to him for quite some time, couldn’t find the right one, but at the same time did not want to just let the moment go. Days passed, we got closer, and we spoke more. I was still looking for an appropriate answer.
I suppose my heart always knew the reply, I just did not have the courage to accept it. I was scared of being hurt, though I have never tasted the feeling but I had heard horrible stories for sure. Today I know what I want. I want YOU!
I have never been happier, friends have never seen me this way before. What have you done to me? I never wanted to fall for you, but couldn’t stop myself anymore. Yes I have fallen for you, “head over feet” . I hope none of this ever changes.
Can you hear me calling
Out your name
You know that am falling
And I don’t know what to say
7th December 4.30 pm:- found my answer, I said it, “I LOVE YOU”. He was quiet for a few seconds and a million questions rose in my mind. I waited for him to say something, and he hugged me, I got my answer. I think I have never felt this way before. I am in love and it feels like heaven. All wrong seem right, there is an undying faith that keeps me from feeling downbeat about anything.
There are certain things in life that you have to do to be happy. You may think of me as a selfish person, but being happy shouldn’t be called selfish. I want to live for myself. You have taught me to love, but now I want to share this love with someone I think deserves it, I want to love him with all my heart. I will always be thankful to you for everything, for loving me so unconditionally, for making me feel special, for being there whenever I need. I know am going to hell for hurting you but I want to live happy at least till I die and go to hell. I have lied to myself several times, but the truth is I got to stop this. You may be perfect for me, but I am not. I am not the one for you. And I had to do this for you as well, I don’t want to continue being with you and put you through this lie, because at the end of the day its just pretence. You know me, I can’t pretend, I can’t pretend to be in love when I am not.
My heart is aching thinking about what you are going through at this point. I know you will get over me soon. I hope you do….. Will never forget you!
For Mr. Anon- You and I
On special request this post is back. More than anything because I want it to remain on this blog...
You and I
You have turned my world upside down. Yes you! Mister, I know you’d be reading this and smiling to yourself. But trust me I love my upside down life more. Everything around me seems happy; I smile a lot and cry only out of joy. I blush, I write poems, I dance and sing out loud. Though you are not around right now I know I am gonna meet you soon very soon.
Every time my phone rings, my heart beats faster, every time I hear your voice, butterflies flutter in my tummy . I dream and go into weird trance thinking about you.
Flashes of that perfect evening keep coming back to me. The sea, the starry night, the walk on the ramp, the wind blowing past us, the candle light making imperfections fade away bringing out only love. I wish I could capture it like a film on my camera and play it again and again, I wish I could write it all down and read it like a book.
You are my magician, my happy pill, my everything :)
You and I
You have turned my world upside down. Yes you! Mister, I know you’d be reading this and smiling to yourself. But trust me I love my upside down life more. Everything around me seems happy; I smile a lot and cry only out of joy. I blush, I write poems, I dance and sing out loud. Though you are not around right now I know I am gonna meet you soon very soon.
Every time my phone rings, my heart beats faster, every time I hear your voice, butterflies flutter in my tummy . I dream and go into weird trance thinking about you.
Flashes of that perfect evening keep coming back to me. The sea, the starry night, the walk on the ramp, the wind blowing past us, the candle light making imperfections fade away bringing out only love. I wish I could capture it like a film on my camera and play it again and again, I wish I could write it all down and read it like a book.
You are my magician, my happy pill, my everything :)
Why
I get very helpless with this situation of mine. Even my friends cannot understand what is it be done of me? It is annoying I know but I need your help to get over it. Will you?
She said, "You should be the last person to get into this mode of self pity, jealousy and insecurity." She is right.
You said, "I love you". Why do I still doubt it, more so when pages from past fall on me like autumn leaves. I don't know whether you understand my problem, but am looking for a solution from you.
I don't want me to make any mistakes...
She said, "You should be the last person to get into this mode of self pity, jealousy and insecurity." She is right.
You said, "I love you". Why do I still doubt it, more so when pages from past fall on me like autumn leaves. I don't know whether you understand my problem, but am looking for a solution from you.
I don't want me to make any mistakes...
My First
I did something I have been wanting to do for a very long time. I got my first tattoo. Frankly I did not have to think too much about what I wanted, I had visions of it in mind.
A fish!
Thats me! Its so me!
Now the story goes way back in 1988, November 06 the day I was born. My mum noticed something very peculiar as the doctor gave me in her arms, though she was checking to make sure that her baby had all limbs and senses in place, she noticed a thing that he li'l daughter was born with, two tiny holes (read: gills) on either side of her face above the ears. She did not freak out, she smiled to herself and asked the doctor what exactly was that.
Tiring as my journey was I pretty much slept through that conversation between mother and the doctor.
Fast forward to the year 2000 when it all began. Excruciating, unbearable pain, what I though was a sign of difference turned out to be such a bane.
I had to get my gills closed.
Fast Forward to year 2007, I missed them and thats when i thought I will get a tattoo . A fish. It all made sense. My name in Sanskrit if broken down as a Sandhi means Meen (Fish) + aakshi (eyes) i.e. eyes that are of the shape of a fish...which is true by the way. I love my eyes. And I love my dad for being so thoughtful.
I always felt like a fish- loved water (though I cant swim), aquariums are my favourite hangout places...dont know how many times I might have entered the Taraporewala one on Marine drive. It all fell in place...
And there you go, my first one, in memory of my gills , will always miss them...
A fish!
Thats me! Its so me!
Now the story goes way back in 1988, November 06 the day I was born. My mum noticed something very peculiar as the doctor gave me in her arms, though she was checking to make sure that her baby had all limbs and senses in place, she noticed a thing that he li'l daughter was born with, two tiny holes (read: gills) on either side of her face above the ears. She did not freak out, she smiled to herself and asked the doctor what exactly was that.
Tiring as my journey was I pretty much slept through that conversation between mother and the doctor.
Fast forward to the year 2000 when it all began. Excruciating, unbearable pain, what I though was a sign of difference turned out to be such a bane.
I had to get my gills closed.
Fast Forward to year 2007, I missed them and thats when i thought I will get a tattoo . A fish. It all made sense. My name in Sanskrit if broken down as a Sandhi means Meen (Fish) + aakshi (eyes) i.e. eyes that are of the shape of a fish...which is true by the way. I love my eyes. And I love my dad for being so thoughtful.
I always felt like a fish- loved water (though I cant swim), aquariums are my favourite hangout places...dont know how many times I might have entered the Taraporewala one on Marine drive. It all fell in place...
And there you go, my first one, in memory of my gills , will always miss them...
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