What's up California

Right from The Beach Boys, Buffalo Springfield, The Doors, Eagles to Motley Crue and Green day, I love'em all. Surprisingly they have all originated in California. I still haven't been able to figure what could be this... there ought to be some magic in the air... Till then

"Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the wind blow
Where the little girls in their Hollywood bungalows

Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light
Or just another lost angel...City of Night
City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon

L.A. Woman, L.A. Woman
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon 

Drive thru your suburbs
Into your blues, into your blues, yeah
Into your blue-blue Blues
Into your blues, ohh, yeah "

Boxed In

Pack.Unpack.Pack.Unpack.Pack.Unpack I am tired of living out of boxes.

0-0

Recently when a Turkish hacker kind of equalized twitter with 0 followers and 0 following, many felt lonely and many egos were shattered. So this sounds a little silly, a bug sends you in a tizzy and you start consulting a psychiatrist? Are we so dependent on twitter to satisfy our already inflated ego?



So when Ashton Kutcher went up to the mirror to check him, those with a few numbers of followers were secretly happy. They were all equal for a few hours. Such a waste of time no? Ever thought how many people in real life think you are cool? How many in real life respect you for what you are and not just one of the herd?



This is what prompted this post:- shekharkapur: U guys all there? For sum reason my twitter a/c shows zero followers suddenly. U think I’ve been hacked? (on his twitter page)

Who's in?

Block July 15 to July 18, 2010 this year. It is Ladakh Confluence in its second year, bigger, better and of course lovelier with a whole lotta love promised. The line up looks something like this at the moment: -

Manu Delago

Christopher Pepe Auer

Karsh Kale (Website under construction btw :P )

Viku Vinayakram

Rajasthan Roots

Young Musicians of the world

Something Relevant  (Wonder why, well ok!! )

Jamie Catto

Supersonics  ( :-) )

(Courtesy: The Ladakh Confluence 2010)

Special one

Some incidents teach you rather big lessons in life. I have learnt one today, it doesn’t matter how many read what you write, how many understand and how many acknowledge. When what you write touches one heart, it matters. When what you write makes a difference to a life, it matters. When what you write brings a smile on someone’s face, it matters. These are the people who matter and when they read, its more than enough. This one was for you Bani.



Wishing you oodles of much deserved love.

Is it? Yes

"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that."- Woody Allen

Something I did - II

Too much has already been said and nothing can be written more. I love them a lot and no its not a shoe:P

Books = BFFs? or not BFFs?

Yesterday I was shopping for a few books at Landmark

Observation 1: Pune Landmark is nothing compared to the Bombay one (Infinity mall, Andheri)

Observation 2: Teenagers in Pune are obsessed with Linkin Park, that wasn’t a surprise

Observation 3: Most kids flocked the Xbox and PS3 corner in the bookstore, whereas the classics section, children’s books section were mostly empty or had parents dallying around to find something for their kids who were at the gaming section.

I remember reading Heidi, Bambi or even the Tales of the Huckleberry Finn (that was my favourite as a kid). Like all good girls I read fairytales every night, Sleeping Beauty, Hansel and Gretel, I dreamt about the seven dwarfs and me playing snow white. I even owned pretty shoes like Cinderella. Then I slowly moved on to Oliver Twist, Sherlock Holmes and then there was a brief period of Mills and Boons owing to my age and hormones. And all this while the classics never died. May it be Jane Austen or Jonathan Swift and even Shakespeare- I had a habit of reading aloud Shakespeare, especially Merchant of Venice. That was me when the only video games we played were the ones that came in a big box, cousins or daddy would lug along from foreign land. Mario and Luigi it was.

Today, most kids own PS3s or PSPs or what not. What are they reading anyways? Ummm nothing really. It is either J.K. Rowling’s world that takes them far away from reality or it is Paulo Coelho, yes kids are reading that too, talk about growing up a bit too fast. May be the next disability would be inability to read. Thus I do not support e-books or even audio books or anything that takes one away from the joys of holding a book and reading it.

I love the way books smell. The old ones have a peculiar musky smell, whereas the new ones to me are like hot muffins-fresh and yum. This is what I thought as I waited for the staff to hunt for the book I wanted.


(P.S :- I bought Peter Ackroyd’s selected essays)


(P.S. 2:- I have become a pro at typing in the dark)

Something I did

After a stressful day at work, I come home with doors playing in my ears. I start looking for an old book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, because it is one of those "feel good" books I keep going back to in times like these. I end up finding not the book but some leftover paint boxes.

I quickly shower and I make this

 
 
 

 

  "I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh look at that!" Then- whoosh, and I'm gone...and they'll never see anything like it ever again...and they won't be able to forget me- ever." - Jim Morrison

Economics

Travelling in Poona is very  expensive, especially if you do not own one of those bikes. And Dad you tricked me :X . Anyways


Here is how I look at it


Auto fare from home to office and back= 100 X 2 = 200/-  + 20/-  extra charges post 10 pm (yeah 10 is late night here..whatte city)


 220/- = cost of two packs of Benson

The ugly missy

I saw her name in red neon.
The woman who has an ugly green toungue and she speaks all blue.
Her mind is the dark of a dungeon and her heart is a solid grey.
She wears a filthy yellow while she carries a gory expression.

:-)

They always give me a reason to smile..every morning definitely

Update

I have started my internship with Indian Express in Poona. Its day four today, so far things have been decent. I am in my third internship and I have no real job yet :(


Jinx Diary:-


Entry # 12,765 :- Toppled down the stairs again. Scratched my very expensive Vogue sunglasses. Sprained my ankle. While getting in the car, I had my hands smeared with grease which left stains on my lovely white shirt. It doesnt stop here by the way. I ride 4 Kilometers with Daddy only to realize I have forgotten my Phone at home. So while I beg him to take me back he gives me a long lecture on how I need to start meditating to improve my concentration power.
I have more than half a day to go and I am sure this doesnt stop here. Bring it on

Lets tweet

What are we turning into? A community that communicates in 140 characters or less? I miss writing long letters, elaborately giving details of my recent vacation to my friends. Today it would be. “Meenakshi Iyer returned with sun burns and an amazing tan, she loves Goa.”

Twitter is turning us into people with shorter attention spans, with abysmal retention power. It’s like a disease I say if am allowed to be a little crude here. We no longer prefer reading texts that flows into more than three paragraphs.

It is certainly revolutionizing communication but in which direction is the question? We roll our eyes if we find people who are not on Twitter, celebrities are fast signing up as well. Now, I completely support the new media and its wonders, but at the same time, I also take a step backward and contemplate. Where is this leading me?

Social networking puts you in a spot where telling the world what you up to is more like an urge. People are living two lives- online and offline.

Online they have the control, they can mould their persona the way they would like to see them online, it’s like living a virtual dream. So you join groups, become fans of things you don’t even have a clue about? Why? Because the rest of the world is doing so. It is herd behaviour. You want to impress a girl, just manipulate your interests/hobbies sections of your profiles. But what are you in real life may be totally diametrically opposite of what you pretend to be. You go out with your gang of boys, have a great night at the friendly bar, you come home and the first thing on your mind is to put pictures on facebook. You want the world to know that you have an awesome life (considering the popular definition of awesome= social)

Social media definitely revs up your cool Q but at the same time it is turning you into someone you are not.

De-construction

The parts make up the whole. Whether this whole is the ultimate reality or a constructed reality, is the question. It loses meaning, is vulnerable to misinterpretation and sometimes ceases to go beyond the acquired meaning.

From my window

10 tips on “How to survive a long distance relationship”

Being in a long distance relationship is as good as being single without availing the advantages of being single. So what does one do, when you are in one?




1. Communicate- In a long distance relationship, it is important you communicate with your boyfriend/girlfriend as often as possible. Keep them updated about your activities, make them feel a part of it. But also remember do not over-communicate. With the perks of web 2.0, social networking, instant messaging can be done at the click of a tab, but remember having someone popping up every now and then may not be always surprising.


2. Make plans together- It is given that you as a couple do not meet often. So make plans for the time you would be together like watch films, play scrabble, cook a meal. There can be a million things that you could do together. This would keep you going till the time you guys are actually with each other. Whether the plans work or no is a different thing, but the wait is made more fun.


3. Spell it out- In a long distance relationship it is not possible for your girlfriend or boyfriend to predict your mood swings, highs and lows. Sometimes coincidences happen, but not always. Express yourself, tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about things that may be bothering you, emote, talk, and seek advice.


4. Give surprises- It is always nice to receive a bunch of flowers or a CD of your favourite artist as a gift. Do small little things to make each other feel special. Even if it is just writing a letter or sending a postcard.


5. Be consistent- The initial few months of a relationship are the best and are sure meant to be treasured. But why not make every moment special? It is obvious that on certain days you would be busy, you might not give each other enough time, but try and compensate for it.


6. Appreciate- If your partner is going out of his/her way to make an effort, appreciate it and most importantly reciprocate. There is nothing worse than no acknowledgement. All of us need a little motivation, it could be this.


7. Listen and not just hear- It is important that when your boyfriend/girlfriend is expressing something, you listen with utmost concentration. You wouldn’t want your girlfriend to go, “Are you even listening to me?”, while your mind is on the Pizza Hut menu card or a football match. Understand what your boyfriend/girlfriend is trying to convey. Do not make stupid remarks, it could be very irritating.


8. Sex talk- This is the most important. It is important you keep the anticipation heightened for the time you are together. Talk about things you want to do, discuss your fantasies (about each other), appreciate each other’s qualities in bed.


9. Enjoy when together- Forget all worries, live in the moment, go with the flow. When you are together, enjoy each other’s company, make the most of the time you have. Those two days away from the routine and being together will never come back. Make it special, worth remembering, till the time you see each other again.


10. Accept the situation- You cannot dismiss the fact that you are in a long distance relationship. Do not regret, do not let your partner feel it is their fault. Stay away from going on a guilt trip, start accepting the situation. The sooner, the better. It sucks, we all know that. But stop cribbing and start acting on the 9 tips above.


PS: PMSing sometimes makes me think better, now that’s something like a self discovery.


(A stupid thought at 4 am in the morning led to this post.)

Leaving Home: a journey closer home

Gone are the days when making a film required a fat producer, extravagant sets , a superstar. It is all boiling down to low budget, real people, real settings, its time for Cinema Verite to go commercial. And the best part is, movie makers are taking the risk, diving straight into the hearts of their audiences and making some pocket money as well.




This Friday (2nd April) releases, Leaving Home: The Life and Music of Indian Ocean. The two hour rockumentary is about this ageing band’s journey that began more than a decade ago. Indian Ocean, rooted deep in Sufi, Indian classical and folk music, saw success with Bandeh. This Hindi rock song, featured in Black Friday and catapulted the band to commercial hit. Youngsters loved them and thus slowly they built a huge fan following by performing across Indian, frequent tours to the US and an album that released more than four years ago.


The film is rightly timed, considering the band is contemplating their next album release soon. After losing Asheem Da, their lead man, Indian Ocean did not waiver or fall apart * Touchwood*. People die, but they leave behind music that keeps resonating for years to come. I am looking forward to the film and hoping that this trend just doesn’t stop here. This may be the moment, for documentary films to make a mark, turn the tables and the talent to get noticed.

Some really old ones

I had to dig through two box full of pictures to find my favourites. Putting some of them here. These are of people I love a lot.



My Dad, my hero


My mum, my best friend, my confidant and the most beautiful woman I know
I don't mention her to many people, because when it comes to her am always short of words.
She is the best thing to have happened to me and I love her a lot

My grandparents (Thatha and Paati)
I have heard stories about him from her, about how brave he was during the wars, about how they survived in Kashmir for years, about how every journey with him was an adventure for her.
My grandma, is from a royal family, but she chose to marry grandpa and live a humble life. She taught kids in school, raised five children and put up with my grandpa's annoying habits. She is a brave woman and even today lives a happy satisfied life. Even if I achieve half of what she has in her life, I would consider it big. Paati, I love you a lot and can't wait to get you home...:)

365

Its been a year already. It feels like yesterday and I have already served a year. Am a year older, a year smarter.     

So much has happened, that there is no vivid memory of a beginning or an end. Its hazy, may be I let it go too soon. 

The best part is I have already predicted the next year, the same rigamarole, the same gossips, the same people, the same senseless, meaningless existence that I have already come to terms with. 

Its like a whirling cyclone that keeps building, to the point that you become an insignificant being stuck in it. I have lost my anchor, and I have my house in the cyclone. 

Will I ever return? Will I get used to the twists and turns, the churning day in and day out, that I will forget my world, the world where I used to belong. 

Post it

Lets not put too many walls around us.

Lets not push people away because they are too close.

Lets not make inhibitions our garb.

Lets not ignore what our heart says,

Lets not obey the mind mindlessly.

Lets not know the destination all the time,

lets not think twice before taking the plunge.

Lets not just survive but breathe.

lets not have judgements, not even one bit

Today, lets just be who we are and love thyself.....

A drunk ode

  

   Dear Beer,

  when I have you near,

  I have no fear 

  Everything is not so clear       

  yet i wanna cheer

(Photo courtesy: Denny L. Laloo)

And the post below led to this...

How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?
How do you lose yourself to someone?
And never lose your ways
How do you not run out of new things to say?
And since we're always changing
How can it be the same?
And tell me how, year after year
You're sure your heart will fall apart
Each time you hear his name
I know the way i feel for you. it's now or never
The more i love, the more that i'm afraid
That in your eyes i may not see forever, forever
If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then i suppose, the music never ends
I know the way i feel for you it's now or never!
(how do you keep the music playing?)
The more i love. the more that i'm afraid
(how do you make it last)
That in your eyes i may not see forever, forever
(how do you keep the song from fading, keep the song from fading too fast)
If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday to make it better as it grows
With any luck. then i suppose the music never ends

- James Ingram

Radio killed the video star

When 50 girls are fighting over one remote control. When even the wonders of youtube become boring. When all the films on your hard drive have been watched by you a million times, you are even condition to emote by just listening to the sounds (Too much of Pavlov off late).


Comes to my rescue Myopusradio


Though I always keep hoping for faster internet speed. And I am a satisfied girl




R.I.P Gina . You will always be remembered

Newbies

New obsession- Keeping everything around me super clean. Vacuum out every single particle of dust. My body has reached that point, it cannot take dust anymore.

Next purchase- New shoes (Tresmode). Daddy I hope you are reading this :P

New song stuck on my lips- Yeh mera deewanapan hai ....by Susheela Raman (Original by Mukesh)

Next tattoo- on my left foot


New favorite author- Mark Haddon


Next must watch- Inception


New thing on the "to buy when I have a real job" list- Chanel rubber effect Python tote

Loss

Rhythm and music, sounds and sights have always dominated my growing up years. I was put in a music school when I was barely three, I would literally go there every day only to sleep, because every song would be like a lullaby to me. Grandma is a Carnatic classical vocalist. Even at 82 she has a voice that could send you in a deep trance. My mom is a walking talking juke box; forget dad he cannot sing, the reason why I hated nursery rhymes. (I could recite rhymes when I was one and a half year old ;))
In spite of starting my training that early I haven’t been able to learn all that I was supposed to. Blame it on my laidback attitude and lack of patience to learn the craft. Granma thought I could be a good singer, but I never gave myself a chance and it’s turned into a big repentance today.
My fate with classical dance form ended the same way. After spending 11 years matching my steps to the beats, I had to quit mid-way. Even today when I see someone perform on stage, tears roll down my eyes. It reminds me of my failure and how I would never wear that beautiful Saree and the gracious ornaments, how I would never have my palms smeared with Alta and tie those Ghungroos... or wait. May be its still not too late!

Road, Movie- on the move

A filmmakers take on the grandeur of cinema is always a pleasurable watch even if its on those strainingly uncomfortable front row seats. Road, Movie is one such film that you would want to watch in spite of that pain in your neck. The film is not so much about the four main characters but about the art of filmmaking. The most memorable scene remains when Satish Kaushik physically scissors out a scene because he thinks it to be too boring for his local audiences i.e. Benegal's take on editing.

It may be a little slow for Indian sensbilities, we are yet to develop that eye for cinema. It is kind of shameful because even a film like Shree 420 made decades ago tried to put in some logic into our heads. May be it is the thought of looking at films as entertainment that overshadows the real meaning behind it, we call it Popcorn entertainment.

Abhay deol after his portrayal of a jilted lover in Dev D, doesnt deliver much, shoddy dialogues and certain amount of hesitance engulfs his performance. Satish Kaushik is his usual self and new comer Tanishta as a gypsy woman is convincing, its more got to do with her look than her skills.

But in my opinion lets not watch Road, Movie expecting stellar performaces, watch it to be just grateful that we have cinema, the art that touches all of us in some way or the other.

Move on

Curvy is in, lean is out
"at least now he has things to look at"

Why so random?

Its funny how some people think they sound smart by thinking random.. why? The only person you make sense to is you. Get that?

Lets decode randomness

1) People think and write random because they want to make an incognito point
2) Lash out at people they hate
3) Too scared to face reality, thus take the help of fantasy
4) Prove a point without having to go through the pain of being upfront
5) Make someones life miserable because theirs sucks anyways
6) Try to be "know-it-all" whereas the reality is far from this
7) Pretend to be too cool for poor earthlings with little more brains than them
8) Like what he/she likes. Why? Because they need acceptance

so.. this is how it looks

Oh quite an eventful day it has been and continues to be!

Broke a few bones (mine), had a random conversation with a stranger, went to shoot and got shot, heard more rant about self. Wish people grow up and stop acting silly, atleast around me... if I remember right my first post on the blog some four years ago was something to do with jealousy...and it still holds true! Wow, Girls don't like me much.. especially those who think they are too smart for the world to figure but end up like fools more often.

A happy Hundredth (100) to me! Woohoo

Voices in my head screaming out loud, jumping, jumping more!!

ouch!!! The broken hip bone hurts...but what the heck!! I am 100 ! Woohooo





(Since you din't I had to)

Virtual Bytes

I was watching the latest episode of Tech Toyz, the single people Valentine’s special, and it suddenly occurred to me how technology has become unstoppable, all encompassing, powerful and dominating. Simply put, in a way, it rules you.
The episode was about Dos’ and Donts of online dating. “How soon should you convert the virtual date into a real one? Should you continue online interactions even after meeting in person? What should be the frequency of your pokes and super pokes?” Now do you get what I am referring to when I say powerful and dominating? If you think about it, it is kinda scary.

Case study 1: Facebook
1) Facebook suggests you say hello to “blaah blaah”. Do I need suggestions from Facebook who I should or I should not stay in touch?
2) “What’s on your mind” it’s such a compelling statement. I remember this conversation, so well that I even made it my entry point into a research assignment- Real VS virtual

J: I didn’t know what to put as my status update, I dint want it to sound stupid.
A: Why don’t you quote someone?
J: No, I want it to be more personal. Something like “I don’t know what to put as my status update. Please help.”
A: wow, that sounds cool

Have you ever seen bad pictures of you and your friends on Facebook? Not often, because this virtual life lets you edit, remove things you wouldn’t want others to see, create a person who is like you but a much better version, with better taste, good experiences and stories to boast about.
You flaunt, you attract more profile views, you create a “YOU” that you always wanted to be.
Case study 2: Buzz
This one’s a new entrant and has many users already. It’s more like Twitter’s close cousin, but less complicated and less intimidating.
It’s a few days old, let’s see how it fares, wouldn’t be too long

So the point I am trying to make here is “where is the real you”?
I’d still like to meet friends over coffee than having online conversations below our favourite picture clicked ages ago. I still would like to give real gifts than virtual ones.
Guess that’s the future of technology, we sit in our cubicles, stuck in real jobs, have many virtual personalities and juggle between them whenever time permits. I wish for more time.. to enjoy who I am, to enjoy who others are and to enjoy the real life.

Where to go?

Its been a while since I have traveled somewhere, switched off my cell phone and locked my laptop in.

Made photographs of everything I saw. Where next? When next?

Pondicherry?
Andamans?
Leh?
Shillong?
Goa again?

YOU

I THINK I MISS YOU A LOT..COME BACK WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT

Revisited Williams, revisited Her

Its silly, you seek things that are so far away and in the grind forget to appreciate whats closer to you- Me



I heard Don Williams after ages today,i cursed myself for not doing so often. Though I have always been a bigger fan of Kenny Rogers, my music teacher had all his hits, that ultimate something CD I once found in her treasure trove.

I miss her a lot. She would sing on all my birthdays, songs she thought I would like.She wasn't as much a teacher but more of a friend. She knew all my moods, she knew which Raaga would liven me, Malkauns it is!She knew how her besan laddooa were my all time favourite feel good food.

She knew all the guys I had a crush on, she knew how much I hated the sight of Bruno being sick. I remember our numerous trip to the vet with him, her cooking lessons and most importantly her smiling face...

Black and white memories in colour

“She is a dark baby, but looks like a beautiful angel to me”, were his words in a letter written to my aunt. I lost him when I was three. It was a scary evening, but all I remember of that incident is my grandmother’s silent tears on our terrace. It’s strange my mother says, in spite of the fact that I was pretty much on the non impressionable side of my memory, I have vivid visuals of our times together. I remember his bottle of Old Monk, I remember him taking me to a nearby Tapri and smoking his lungs out, often under the pretext of walking me to the park, which never happened. I remember him lying on the armchair, with at least four books by his side. His collections of readers digest, now passed on to me just like other books he loved keeping. I still have the glasses he used to read with.
Him humming old classics while holding me in his arms. He used to call me a scarecrow, considering I was a puny baby, though no one can say that about me now. I remember how he used to stay up nights whenever I lay sick. I have heard many a stories about him, both good and bad. He was a handsome army man with a tinge of humor and oodles of intelligence. He was quite a ladies man grandma used to say. Though short-lived am glad I had him. He inspires me to be brave, to stand my ground, to be who I am without any fears. I love you a lot Tatha and will always miss you.

Karma scare

I am scared this time
Will I get back what I did to you?
Your tiny heart with a sewn hole
and your eyes piercing me through your glasses.
I can take it no more.
Do not curse, do not wish ill..
You know I did us good!

Its unfair I always knew,
but not worth a single drop of tear from my eye
I am returning back from my guilt trip
to colours and flowers, to the sun and the moon.

Do we hear it?

Ang Lee's "Taking Woodstock" failed to create the magic. In spite of a perfect recreation, the music failed him. People expect music and nothing else when they read Woodstock, but the film is more of a coming off age tale.

Young Elliot, loves his parents and is trying to get the dilapidated El Monaco Motel running. The sleepy town of Bethel suddenly wakes up to the news of a music festival being organised in dairy farms of Greenwich Village and thus Elliot embarks on a journey to witness the biggest and a life turning event of his life.

Woodstock offers a good backdrop to the film, but beyond that there is no much purpose, which I felt was equal to trivializing it. Elliot sees a whole different world through the eyes of many different people he comes across in the end coming out of closet and accepting who he is.

The film has beautiful visuals, but an incomplete feeling still lingers on.

Watch it for the amazing recreation brought on screen by Lee..

Wisdom tooth

A random conversation lead to a vital realization. I still have 28 teeth and am waiting for the other four. Wisdom come to me soon, need you real bad. Ha Ha... and The Boyfriend would agree with this.

M- I still dont have them
H- Get X ray
M- Haaaaa?
H- They might hide inside the gums

Do you fake it?
Yes.
Why?
Because I love her????
WOW

Are you sure?
No
When
Dunno

Questions

Why cant our minds be like slates? When you don't like something just erase it off, without a trace to remind you of what was written or what was forgotten. If only we could Ctrl+Alt+Del troubled moments, life would have been much simpler. Why do we seek honesty when we cant bear it? Why arent there pills to make our brains stop thinking about things that are not important. Why does life have to be black or white. Why dont we ever mean what we say and say what we mean? Why does it always have to be me?

Stu

I miss you when there is no one to understand my silence
I miss you when I look pretty
I miss you when images in my head speak
And it’s only you who can take a peek

I miss you when I have no one to take long walks with
I miss you when all I need is just a hug
I miss you when the little girl in me is scared
And it’s only you who can calm me down

I miss you when I have no one to hold my hand
I miss you when I am at crossroads,
I miss you when I long for those conversations
And it’s only you who can turn my brain on

BFF

Dollu, I love you

We have been through our ups and downs and I am glad we are still together. We might not talk to each other for hours, but after a stressful day I am glad I come back to my room and you are there. You stand by me when I need you the most. You bear all my stupidities, you put sense into me and get my brains straight. There to cheer me up with your silly antics and those fun gossips (Wonder how do you get to know so much, you are hardly here :P).
I love you my doll, please get well soon and come back, I miss you!
Xoxo

Huacho

Another piece for the bulletin..

“Message is the medium”, famous words by Marshal McLuhan came alive on screen in Huacho by Alejandro Fernandez. This film tries to capture the life of local Chilean peasants who make a living out of small jobs like making cheese and fencing etc.
The camera follows four characters, each a member of the same family with the determination of bringing them closer to the audience. “I used handheld camera and kept the subject close to the camera to make it appear real,” said Alejandro. He added, “The film is not about the countryside it is about the people living there, thus I focussed more on the people and used lot of indoor shots.” Use of dark lighting and jump cuts provide a sense of claustrophobia to the film.
His effort of breaking the stereotype of Chilean countryside is achieved not only through the script but also through his direction. “I wanted to stand up against the capitalistic attitude lurking in the cities. They are often misrepresented in bigger ventures, creating a mockery out of their lives. ” Alejandro believes that cinema should bring out the stories of the poor and oppressed.
Alejandro hails from Chillen and his upbringing in the countryside provided him with valuable insight for the script. “I interviewed a lot of people and would often follow these four characters with a small camera, he said.
Talking about his experience working with non-actors he said, “It was difficult explaining them certain scenes, but the fact that we didn’t script their dialogues helped us.” Alejandro further explains, “People who watched the film from these villages could relate to it, I felt I have succeeded as a filmmaker when one of them told me, ‘It’s a piece from my life’.”
According to him Chilean audience is still not open to offbeat themes. Even watching a movie is quite an expensive affair. Finding funds to make films based on unusual storyline can be quite tedious. But Alejandro’s luck favoured him and he found financers for his venture. “This film is close to my heart and am very happy with the response I have received so far,” he said.
Illustrious directors like Abbas Kiriostami and Maurice Pialat have been his inspiration. Having no formal training in filmmaking Alejandro has learnt his skills by watching and reading about cinema. Being a full time journalist in New York also helped him to save some money for his dream.
A comment by his friend on his Facebook page sums it, “This is a day in the life of a Chilean family after 25 years of capitalism."

By the way, this Chilean director was a delight to talk to. Its very rare for me to enjoy conversations with strangers, with him, coffee and cinema was the perfect combination.


Alejandro

Of love and madness

Recently I was a part of the Pune International Film Festival (PIFF), watched many films, met many interesting people. Will post reviews of films that touched me..starting with ......

The Man Beyond The Bridge (Paltadacho Munis) is a 96 minute Konkani film set in Quepem, a village in Western Ghats of Goa. Vinayak, a widowed forest ranger lives on the other side of the bridge that connects his world to the village. He is attracted a mentally disturbed woman who visits his house every night for food and shelter. Vinayak decides to marry her in spite of the fear of being ostracized by the villagers who outcast anyone with a mental illness.
Laxmikant Shetgaonkar tells this love story weaving it beautifully with the culture of the region. The film based on a short story by Konkani writer, Mahabaleshwar Sail, explores the dilemma of a sensible man against the social taboos that still engulf our society.
A message subplot introduces a village headman who builds a temple on forest land. It is Vinayak’s duty as a forest ranger to oppose this development risking his new love interest. The Man Beyond The Bridge takes audiences beyond the huge crowded cities and gives us a glimpse of rural India. Stuck between the dilemma of humanity and social ethos, Vinayak chooses to go where his heart leads him.
Shetgaonkar does justice to the narrative by keeping it simple yet visually appealing. Shades of realism reflect throughout the texture and bring the audiences closer to the characters. Chitranjan Giri as Vinayak brings out a perceptive portrayal of the character making it an endearing performance.
The film has recently been added to the “Films 101” database for the year 2009. It has also won an award in the "Discovery" category of the Toronto International Film Festival recently. It been screened at other festivals like the IFFI and Cairo International film festival. Not to mention, it is rare that an Indian film competes in the "World Competition" section at PIFF and The Man Beyond The Bridge has achieved that honour too.
It was surprising to know that the Goa state had rejected funding to this film four years back, but today it has brought international fame to the state. This film is Shetgaonkar’s second directorial venture and is produced by the National Film Development Corporation (NFDC). It is commendable that he could represent India in international platforms, creating a hopeful picture for many. The film proves that there is a lot of potential beyond the tinsel town which needs to be tapped.

coincidental

What is it that we have
I begin and you end
you feel and I express
I think about you and it beeps

Its our dona paula magic you say
its what we call magic
its our love

Is it you or me?

(warning: This post is going to be too disparate to understand, just like my brain)

At a time when I am supposed to be writing about (German Expressionism- a pretty cool concept btw), I have been sitting and staring at my blog and hers. I compare. I check. I read and I put the jigsaw puzzle together. Is this an obsession or just my way of messing things up for us.

Narcissist that I am, I had two mirrors in my old house, Mum has promised me she will buy me a vintage piece.

I go over it again and again, trying to figure where did I mess up? Why do I feel like an old junk, why do I feel as if I am a mid-stop, a station that comes and passes without anyone realising it existed.

Should I take a shower or wait for you to clear my head? Is losing coupla Kilograms over it really worth the effort? What has beauty got to do with it, my eyes speak so does my tongue.

Should I quote you here? but wait, am I so shallow and dumb that I need your help? oh hell these lines on my laptop screen need to be removed.

We conclude- its not me.

this is where it started.
below
expressionism

Me a Fairy?

Turn me into a fairy,
with a little white dress
washed wings over my shoulders,
and a love wand of stars

"Do I look pretty in this new garb?"
I ask my mother with ever curious eyes
"you are my angel, my sunshine" she says
Her lips blow a kiss and I smile

She knows her beautiful girl inside out
her soft hand clutching my palms
we walk away we walk far
None know where we are?

Aunts and uncles who always know it all
"green eyed monsters", I wish I could call
they bark and they scratch
they look and they stare

Me the little fairy with broken wings
me the prey to the monster's grin
"Save me mama" I cry

Hiroshima Mon Amour- a paradox on celluloid

Overwhelmingly passionate, true Resnais style, HIROSHIMA MON AMOUR is the story of a French actress and a Japanese architect interspersed with the place as a background. Hiroshima acts as a solid base for the story, leading to a tale of tragedy, longing and tries to ask a philosophical justification to the bombings that we witnessed in history.



Elle and Lui though happily married with their respective partners, but this chance encounter leads Elle down the memory lane drawing parallels between her first lover and Lui. In the passionate encounter as Elle narrates her story of having seen the bombing, Lui tries his best to nullify her claim.

The film throws many questions like whether it is best to have loved that to not have presented oneself the opportunity of being loved? Whether what one thinks is the reality may be negated to being just a figment of imagination. Based on Marguerite Duras novel, Hiroshima Mon Amour (Hiroshima My love) is a paradoxical journey through Resnais lens.

The Director:

Alain Resnais was born on June 3, 1922 in the town of Vannes, on the western coast of France. His career as a filmmaker began when he made his first amateur film at age 14. He studied his craft at the Institut des Hautes ètudes Cinémato-graphiques in Paris, and began his professional career with a series of short films, many of which focus on art and the life of artists, including Guernica, Gaugin, and Van Gogh, which won him an Academy Award in 1948 at the young age of 26. His documentary Night and Fog is regarded by many as the most important Holocaust film ever made.

Hiroshima, Mon Amour, his first 35mm film, won the Cannes Film Festival International Critics Prize in 1959. His later films include Last Year at Marienbad (1961), Muriel (1963), La Guerre est finie (1966), Stavisky (1974), Providence (1977), Mon oncle d'Amerique (1980), Life Is a Bed of Roses (1983), L'Amour ê Mort (1984), Melo (1986), I Want to Go Home (1989), Smoking and No Smoking (1993).

R.I.P. my favourite denims :(

It was the best pair I ever owned, with little swarovski right at the place where they were needed. It could read my mind and gauge my mood, it acted the way I wanted it to. I can even call it my lucky pants, because I always got lucky with it on ;)

Till last night I thought there was still some chance of getting it back, but after the tailor refused to even acknowledge the fact that something can be done, I had to give up hope.

I can never get a pair like that ever again. Will always miss it.

<3

Honest truth

I may not have profound things to talk about, I may not be random enough for your taste, but whatever I do I have always been true to us. I write truth and I breathe truth.

I may not have painted the world, but I am a connoisseur of colours. I take the brush and I paint a stroke of truth.

I may not have it all sorted out, but I know am going to be good, good enough to make you happy, good enough to be true

I may not be beautiful, but I wont hide my flaws either, because that is again the truth and I will never run away from my scars

I may have not known a million things, but am always eager to learn more. I am always a true student.

I may not be the best lover, but all I know is that my love is true, that my tears are true and my joys are true.....

My Christmas tree

Wish you were around....

Things to do...before i die

I have a list...keeps extending as i grow, learn, unlearn, experience, talk, sing...

1. Visit Venice
2. Learn to play Violin
3. Speak fluent French
4. Open a small cafe in some small town
5. Have roomful of books
6. Find my talent
7. Buy the "real" Volkswagen Beetle
8. Create something with you (now this one's a little vague because I don't know what I want to make)
9. ...................

Most favourite place on Earth

It was perfect
You and I
like an early morning dream
that never dies

Awareness reaches your doorstep

I had written this one long time back and forgot to post it. Just when I was going through my blog folder I stumbled upon this one.

As we are progressing towards a better future as a nation, there are a lot of issues pulling us down, majority of them concerning women in India. We are a nation of more than a billion but the sorry state of our sex ratio spells it all out. Increasing female infanticide, domestic violence, rise in crime against women show that the progress will be rendered meaningless because of this large disparity amongst the two genders.

Warning signs
Off late issues concerning women are making the headlines. May it be the recent ringthebell.com campaign or television serials like Balika Vadhu, awareness about women’s issues has reached the bedrooms of every household. Launched by human rights organisation Breakthrough India, the Bell Bajao (Ring the Bell) campaign urges people to ring the door bell when they hear about domestic violence in a house. Their impressive ad campaigns with Boman Irani as the ambassador may not have garnered enough eyeballs but have definitely penetrated into a few layers of the society. The world statistics of domestic violence translates into 960,000 reported incidences of violence, against current or former partners every year. Three million women are abused every year by their husbands or boy friends.

Domestic violence doesn’t just occur in lower middle class or poor households but can happen to anyone. Just few days back singer and composer; Adnan Sami’s wife filed a complaint against him for domestic violence. Such news makes us think as to where be we leading as a society. Despite the Indian government enforcing The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in 2005, crimes against women are reported everyday. Indian women have always been subjected to such atrocities, may it be at workplace, at home or even on the roads. Right from her birth to her death, a woman goes through million experiences that may have harmful effects on her. It is quite worrying that nothing much on policy level is being achieved to curb it.

Losing the Ys
Colors channel of the TV18 network has a new offering, ‘Is desh na aana ladoo’ focuses on female infanticide. The gory visuals used as promos are stark enough to get attention for the cause. The sex ratio is falling at an alarming rate, as more and more people are going in for sex determinations. In rural areas where a lot of people do not have access to sex determination facilities, female infanticide is shockingly common. The parents wait until the mother gives birth, and when they find out that a daughter is born, they go ahead and kill the baby by adopting various means such as strangling the baby, giving her poison, dumping her in a garbage bin, drowning her, burying her alive, starving her, stuffing her mouth with salt, or leaving her outdoors overnight so she dies of exposure. This practice is rampant in parts of Rajasthan, where the baby is put into a huge bowl of milk and killed.


Media watch
Balika Vadhu comments on most social issues against women like dowry, child marriage, infanticide and is highly popular amongst all classes. In India there is a crime against women in every three minutes, one rape every twenty nine minutes and one recorded case of dowry death in every seventy seven minutes. Cases of cruelty meted out by husbands and in laws are seen in every nine minutes. Idea cellular service’s new advertisement has a girl giving it back to eve teasers in truly commando style. For that matter even the viewership of K serials in diminishing as more and more women are hooked onto serials with social messages. As we wake to the problems facing women in India, one does really wonder many more lives do we have to sacrifice till we learn to respect women.

A page from my diary

I thought a lot before posting this one, but had to because I have promised to keep this blog as open and true as I can. This blog started out three years back with the purpose of being a friend, who is always listening, but like any relationship we went through our ups and downs. But now we are back with a bang like many other relationships in my life.

The state that am in right now whether happy or sad is because of certain things that I have seen, felt and heard.

Here is a page from my diary:

“I want to be your everything” he texted, I stopped midway while crossing a busy street, thankfully dint get run over. Read and read it again, my eyes welled up a bit. I looked around and smiled to myself and walked away. I thought about my reply to him for quite some time, couldn’t find the right one, but at the same time did not want to just let the moment go. Days passed, we got closer, and we spoke more. I was still looking for an appropriate answer.
I suppose my heart always knew the reply, I just did not have the courage to accept it. I was scared of being hurt, though I have never tasted the feeling but I had heard horrible stories for sure. Today I know what I want. I want YOU!
I have never been happier, friends have never seen me this way before. What have you done to me? I never wanted to fall for you, but couldn’t stop myself anymore. Yes I have fallen for you, “head over feet” . I hope none of this ever changes.
Can you hear me calling
Out your name
You know that am falling
And I don’t know what to say

7th December 4.30 pm:- found my answer, I said it, “I LOVE YOU”. He was quiet for a few seconds and a million questions rose in my mind. I waited for him to say something, and he hugged me, I got my answer. I think I have never felt this way before. I am in love and it feels like heaven. All wrong seem right, there is an undying faith that keeps me from feeling downbeat about anything.
There are certain things in life that you have to do to be happy. You may think of me as a selfish person, but being happy shouldn’t be called selfish. I want to live for myself. You have taught me to love, but now I want to share this love with someone I think deserves it, I want to love him with all my heart. I will always be thankful to you for everything, for loving me so unconditionally, for making me feel special, for being there whenever I need. I know am going to hell for hurting you but I want to live happy at least till I die and go to hell. I have lied to myself several times, but the truth is I got to stop this. You may be perfect for me, but I am not. I am not the one for you. And I had to do this for you as well, I don’t want to continue being with you and put you through this lie, because at the end of the day its just pretence. You know me, I can’t pretend, I can’t pretend to be in love when I am not.
My heart is aching thinking about what you are going through at this point. I know you will get over me soon. I hope you do….. Will never forget you!

For Mr. Anon- You and I

On special request this post is back. More than anything because I want it to remain on this blog...

You and I

You have turned my world upside down. Yes you! Mister, I know you’d be reading this and smiling to yourself. But trust me I love my upside down life more. Everything around me seems happy; I smile a lot and cry only out of joy. I blush, I write poems, I dance and sing out loud. Though you are not around right now I know I am gonna meet you soon very soon.
Every time my phone rings, my heart beats faster, every time I hear your voice, butterflies flutter in my tummy  . I dream and go into weird trance thinking about you.
Flashes of that perfect evening keep coming back to me. The sea, the starry night, the walk on the ramp, the wind blowing past us, the candle light making imperfections fade away bringing out only love. I wish I could capture it like a film on my camera and play it again and again, I wish I could write it all down and read it like a book.
You are my magician, my happy pill, my everything :)

Why

I get very helpless with this situation of mine. Even my friends cannot understand what is it be done of me? It is annoying I know but I need your help to get over it. Will you?

She said, "You should be the last person to get into this mode of self pity, jealousy and insecurity." She is right.


You said, "I love you". Why do I still doubt it, more so when pages from past fall on me like autumn leaves. I don't know whether you understand my problem, but am looking for a solution from you.

I don't want me to make any mistakes...

My First

I did something I have been wanting to do for a very long time. I got my first tattoo. Frankly I did not have to think too much about what I wanted, I had visions of it in mind.

A fish!

Thats me! Its so me!

Now the story goes way back in 1988, November 06 the day I was born. My mum noticed something very peculiar as the doctor gave me in her arms, though she was checking to make sure that her baby had all limbs and senses in place, she noticed a thing that he li'l daughter was born with, two tiny holes (read: gills) on either side of her face above the ears. She did not freak out, she smiled to herself and asked the doctor what exactly was that.

Tiring as my journey was I pretty much slept through that conversation between mother and the doctor.


Fast forward to the year 2000 when it all began. Excruciating, unbearable pain, what I though was a sign of difference turned out to be such a bane.

I had to get my gills closed.

Fast Forward to year 2007, I missed them and thats when i thought I will get a tattoo . A fish. It all made sense. My name in Sanskrit if broken down as a Sandhi means Meen (Fish) + aakshi (eyes) i.e. eyes that are of the shape of a fish...which is true by the way. I love my eyes. And I love my dad for being so thoughtful.

I always felt like a fish- loved water (though I cant swim), aquariums are my favourite hangout places...dont know how many times I might have entered the Taraporewala one on Marine drive. It all fell in place...

And there you go, my first one, in memory of my gills , will always miss them...