Momentary lapse

So another year has ended and a new one has begun. This transition, in my opinion, should last longer. I often wish there were some way to probably create a stopover, or an interval or some kind of a time lag before things start moving again. I would like to take a moment to think, to analyze how to make the next year better and not to make same mistakes again.

Each year, when people are kissing the air and wishing each other good luck for new year, I am left wishing what if the clock stops ticking right when it strikes midnight.
I wish to take a breath, I wish to sit down on a bench in a quiet park, I wish to soak in the moment before moving on. This is never going to happen.
 I always feel I am being rushed into something, and that feeling just spoils the fun for me. Almost always.

Oh Dilli!

It is exactly 7 pm in India and 8.30 am in the U.S.

Just a regular day at work for me, the same buzz, the same chatter that builds up to the time when markets open.

But my head is buzzing with a very different kind of a sound. It is  faint, far away and a little distant. It’s the sound of Delhi’s gaffar market, where I spent many afternoons looking for an old broken walkman to write an obituary on.

The sights and smell of Chandni Chowk and the steps that lead up to the Jama Masjid, whose tombs have seen me climb up and down, brushing against a hundred people and exchanging that awkward look and a sheepish smile.

Bangalore is getting colder by the night. And all I can think of is cold winters in Delhi. Walking around lodhi, stopping for a quick peg at Lodhi Garden Restaurant and then  to Khan Chacha for a roll.

(All images from Google, please don't sue me)

The big 23

Just the other day I was reading a post by a fellow blogger on turning 30 and how she cried almost every day thinking about it. Suddenly it dawned on me, I was turning 23 in a few days,  precisely in less than two days.

23 is no way a milestone, but it in fact is a constant reminder that you are inching towards one, hiding in 25. You are now moving closer to having all the symptoms of what they call- a quarter life crisis?  Plus I prefer even number to odd ones..I am sure I will enjoy my 24th, 26, 28th but not the 23rd, 25th and 29th etc etc.

When you are 23 the least expected out of you is to have found a boy to spend the rest of your life with. But in my case, that certainly doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. The next is to have a stable career, which I do now..to have friends to get drunk with, which I do...to have a car, umm ok lets not get there.. The point is, by this time people expect you to have figured it all out. But guess what, I still haven't. And it is ok, because life is more than just crossing milestones, it is about the journey itself.

And the only song I can think of to sum up this feeling is 'Moving on' by Soulmate.

(More will follow on how the day went)

Follow up

There has to be some amount of balance in life. Thus it is unfair to write about backstabbers and ignore the back-watchers. Thankfully, I have been blessed with many. *touches wood*

They yell at me when they should, but hug me the moment they know I need it. They kick me out of my bed on gloomy days and bring me soup and tuck me in on one of those blaah days.

They will call, text, mail or leave an offline message and some times take a flight and land at my doorstep.

They are people I call friends and I am glad I have them watching my back :)

Thank you guys, you know who you all are!

(P.S.- :*) 

My sincere wish for you, rot in hell! You backstabbing little bimbette!

I know you keep a track of my life and my activities through my blog, especially now that I have completely thrown you out.

This ones for you:

Read the title of the post again.

I don't even need to justify why I would wish something like that for you, after what you did to me and my best friend under the pretext of being one of us. You and your rotten little chihuahua-faced homo-boyfriend with a small dick can both go die. [small dick because he could never say things up front and ranted about it elsewhere and secondly because you seem pretty frustrated, get a hint ;)]

See how life turns out for us eh? Last I heard about you was you were begging around for a job/or sleeping around for one, whichever suits you.

I may be a pseudo intellectual but I am definitely not a bitch like you. I have many better accomplishments to boast of, the only thing you seem to be good at is making life miserable for others.
And maybe this pseudo-intellectualness got me where I am..certainly at a better place than you, asswipe! (see am not good at this, don't have a natural talent for insulting people like you do. I, on the other hand had to google some cuss words just so I can use them in this post)

And talking about not having real friends..I have enough who warned me about you and am glad I listened to them.

Really feel sorry for you, your existence is just a waste of space.

Good luck with your shitty life..

Waiting for the cab to come

Too many good souls lost

I had a horrible dream last night. One that involved my macbook and some unidentified liquid. I woke up in a sweat. I hugged my macbook tightly and went back to sleep.

I haven't had a proper mourning after Jobs' death. Its yet to sink it. To make it worse is the pendulum stance media keeps taking. When he died they hailed him as a hero, as a savior of mankind. And a few days into it, he turned into a recluse monster. Oh cmon!

I for one, respect Steve Jobs immensely, and have no problems with the fact that he never did any charity or was hard on his employees. How else do you think he built the empire that he did?

I hope this blog post gives me some kind of closure.

Rest In Peace!

(P.S.: Too many great souls have gone to heaven this year, Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobs, Jagjit Singh, Gautam Rajadhakshya, Mansoon Ali Khan Pataudi.  Not fair!)

In Paris with you- James Fenton

Just the other day I read this  poem again, may be for the millionth time. And still it charms me the same way it did, the first time I read it.

 In Paris with You

 Don’t talk to me of love.  I’ve had an earful
 And I get tearful when I’ve downed a drink or two.
 I’m one of your talking wounded.
 I’m a hostage. I’m maroonded.
 But I’m in Paris with you.

 Yes, I’m angry at the way I’ve been bamboozled
 And resentful at the mess that I’ve been through.
 I admit I’m on the rebound
 And I don’t care where are we bound.
 I’m in Paris with you.

 Do you mind if we do not go to the Louvre,
 If we say sod off to sodding Notre Dame
 If we skip the champs Elysees
 And remain here in this sleazy
 Old hotel room
 Doing this or that
 To what and whom
 Learning who you are,
 Learning what I am.

 Don’t talk to me of love. Let’s talk of Paris,
 The little bit of Paris in our view.
 There’s that crack across the ceiling
 And the hotel walls are peeling
 And I’m in Paris with you.

 Don’t talk to me of love.  Let’s talk of Paris.
 I’m in Paris with the slightest thing you do.
 I’m in Paris with your eyes, your mouth,
 I’m in Paris with…..all points south.
 Am I embarrassing you?
 I’m in Paris with you.

-- James Fenton

Steps to an "easy comfort food" sandwich

Things you need: Sandwich spread, bread, jalapenos, cheese slice, sausages, olives and any leftover thats good to go.

1. Take two slices of bread and toast them till brown
2. Fry sausages again till brown
3. Spread some sandwich spread on the bread (thats sounds nice when read quickly btw)
4. lay out cheese slices
5. Throw in the jalapenos and olives

EAT

(Tip: I used two different kinda spreads, just to spice things up)

Conversations

Do you think I am crazy?

No

I think you are eccentric

You are what I would call walking into an abyss

I never know where my conversations are headed when I am with you and am not even complaining, I quite enjoy that about you.

Oh, you are just saying that because you want me to feel ok

No, why would I do that. I have nothing to lose. I know you quite like me already

How can you be so confident?

I see that when you look at me, I see that when you touch yourself nervously, I see that when you keep looking away after catching my attention, I see that when you blush, I see that when words come out of your mouth all mixed up.

I guess you must know women really well

I would like to say I know them well enough to spot the one I would fall for

Are you saying that you are falling for me

Well what if I am

Then I would say you are crazy
*kiss*

We are 5

5. Seems insignificant when read like that no? but when you add years next to the number its almost like a lifetime, a dogs lifetime I mean. Thats how long its been with this blog.

:)

Deja Vu (though am not very fond of the word)

It freaks me out when certain films seem like my life playing out on screen. Does that happen to you?
And it's weird because I have seen 'Suburban Girl' before and never thought about it that way, until it ended the way a certain episode in my life did. 
So Brett (an associate editor at a NY publishing house) falls madly in love with much older, much successful Archie (Baldwin being his usual charming self) and figures out how wrong the whole affair turned for her. 
Also the film features one of my favourite songs, 
"Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah"

I remember saying this to my friends once, " I know, it's nuts, but when I'm with him I feel like a better version of myself... You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier."
Of course the film did not end all that happy but most importantly like Brett says, "Because you like to run away. It's part of who you are". 

Damn you!

All of us are destined to have at least one heartbreak. Its one of those unwritten rules.  Its vital, important, must-do, obligatory and all the other synonyms you can think of.

And yes, there is no escaping it, You cannot run away from or hide from it, even if you try to, it comes chasing right after you.

You may want to seem strong to the world outside but deep inside you know you are broken.

RIP

I really wish you could have made more music, the ugly stuff got to you, rest in peace.


Well Sometimes I Go Out, By Myself, And I Look Across The Water.

And I Think Of All The Things, Of What You're Doing, And in my head I Paint A Picture.

Since I've Come Home, Well My Body's Been A Mess, And I Miss Your ginger Hair, And The Way You Like To Dress.

Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Why Dont You Come On Over, Valerie.

Valerie
Valerie
Valerie

Did You Have To Go To Jail, Put Your House Out Up For Sale, Did You Get A Good Lawyer.

I Hope You Didnt Catch A Tan, I Hope You Find The Right Man, Who'll Fix It For You.

Are You Shopping Anywhere, Change The Color Of Your Hair, And Are You Busy.

Did You Have To Pay That Fine, That You Were Dodging All The Time, Are You Still Dizzy.

Well Since I Come Home, Well My Body's Been A Mess, And I Miss Your Tender Hair, And The Way You Like To Dress.

Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Oh Why Dont You Come On Over, Valerie.

Valerie
Valerie
Valerie

Well Sometimes I Go Out, By Myself, And I Look Across The Water.

And I Think Of All The Things, What You're Doing, And In My Head I Paint A Picture.

Since I've Come Home, Well My Body's Been A Mess, And I Miss Your Tender Hair, And The Way You Like To Dress.

Valerie
Valerie
Valerie
Valerie
Valerie
Valerie
Valerie
Valerie

Why Don't You Come On Over Valerie...

MUST DO #107

                               Because music will never abandon you, deceive you or leave you.

Off load

A really big and important part of me decided to part ways with me. It wasn't sudden. I saw it coming since the day it became a part of me.


I've been such a fool.

The new room :)

Will add more pictures as I make newer additions.. 

Newer things and nostalgia

Life certainly has changed since the last post. I now write for people living on a distant continent, very different from mine. People I have known about through sitcoms and endless rom-coms. I live not only different time zones but also different identities, not to forget my poor body clock which is completely messed up right now.

It’s like a little bit of me belongs there as well. So if a neighbourhood bagel shop shuts I know how it feels. Not because I visited it as a little girl, but because people who read my stories have done that once in their life and it matters to them (btw the much featured and loved Bagel shop in upper west side is shutting down. This quintessential Bagel place appeared on TV series such as Friends and Seinfeld.)

I have also moved a few hundred kilometres away from loved ones and friends. I live in a different city now. Of course I am settling down to its groove but Bombay is and will always remain my first love, followed closely by Paris of course ;)

Bangalore is the fourth city I am living in the last two years. I hope to write more about the new place, new experiences and all the lovely people I meet.

Also I am dying to watch Midnight in Paris by Woody Allen, only if I find a decent copy somewhere..

Budget- op ed

An open letter to the finance minister






Dear Mr. Finance Minister,




   India’s strong 50 million middle class were a hopeful lot, till you announced your sixth budget so far on the 28th February 2011. It is a known fact that tax reforms is on high priority for us, the much coveted middle class but is anyone listening? You may have doled out Rs 2,000 to taxpayers by raising the exemption limit of general taxpayers to Rs 1.8 lakh, but me being a woman would reap no benefits as such. All of this now seems like a mere gimmick to shut our mouths. But it seems too little for UPA’s aam admi, given the fact that food inflation rates are almost touching two digits and cost of living in urban India is sky rocketing. Fine maybe I am reacting very strongly and I should look at the picture holistically, so let us do just that.

Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee gearing up for the budget. Photo Credit: Reuters

While the critics called it to be an expected budget and ranked it to be a growth oriented exercise. Even the rural brigade gave the budget a double thumb to a budget set on the backdrop of a macroeconomic structure. The question is what happens to the aspirational life that the working class is so used to and often dreams of. It tends to seem that the opinion of the common man matters the least to the UPA and definitely this non vote bank population hardly makes an appearance in the ballot boxes. It is not unfair that he would have expectations from the budget given the fact the economy is doing so well, thus the high hopes.

I am a 20 something. I live in a metro like Bombay where every restaurant has an air conditioning system; blame it on the sultry climate. Thus from now on I will pay an extra 3% over the existing 10% service tax. With most of my income spent on additional taxes and surcharges, it seems only sensible that not many saving scheme benefits have been announced. Probably the only benefit that the urban young with buying power will enjoy is cheaper and affordable prices on products such as laptops and cell phones. It seems the government has finally come to terms with the fact India is a young country with more than 70% of the population below the age of 35 years. We can now proudly term ourselves as a consumerist society. I completely understand your position and how you have to walk the tightrope, yet it would be wonderful if you remove the Aam Admi from your political agenda since it is clearly not about him anymore.


Another pinch for high travelers is the additional service tax on tickets. Ok, we cut you a slack for that one considering the ever increasing fuel hikes. With high stress jobs, health certainly seems to be a core issue for the flock and the increase in tax will definitely cost us dear and hit the pockets hard.


It is understandable that in a vast country like India with varied conflicting interests, the government is often seen walking the tightrope, but at the same time it is the common man who has to choose between personal gain or the greater good. I do not advocate a happy picture all the time, but with every budget the picture is just getting sadder.


Oh last but not the least let me take this opportunity and thank you for the effect your budget had on the markets. The 700 point rally shows neat on my portfolio least to say.






Yours faithfully,


Always an Aam admi

Films

No win steals India’s sheen at Oscars

Rehman and Anwar fail to cash in on the nominations at Oscars 2011

Though A R Rehman and Tariq Anwar did not win the coveted golden lady but they sure made some heads turns. A R Rahman, whose score for the Danny Boyle directed survival drama ‘127 Hours’ had brought him a Golden Globe nomination a month ago, has done better at the Oscars . Rehman bagged two Oscar nominations, like he did for Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire. Apart from the score, he also received a nomination for ‘If I Rise’ that he performed with the British singer Dido.



James Franco as American engineer and mountaineer Aron Ralston in 127 Hours.


Photo credit: The Guardian



Indian born British, Tariq Anwar, one of the most distinguished editors and an Oscar winner in the past for American Beauty, has been nominated for the hit British drama, King’s speech. Anwar, based out of London has been editing for more than 25 years. Rahman who has also been nominated for a BAFTA award in the UK and faces competition from several veteran Hollywood composers including Hans Zimmer for Inception.

Other nominations in the music category for the Oscars are John Powell for How to Train Your Dragon, Alexandre Desplat for the The King's Speech and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the The Social Network. The competitors for the best song category are ‘Coming Home from Country Strong’, ‘I See the Light’ from Tangled and ‘We Belong Together’ from Toy Story 3 which has grossed over $1 billion. 127 Hours was also nominated for the best film but Boyle did not receive a nomination for direction. Although he was nominated for the screenplay along with his Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire script writer, Simon Beaufoy. The film, a modest success in North America with an $11 million gross may find a strong run at the box-office in the next few weeks. In the UK, the movie which is yet to open in most parts of the world is a smash hit, having grossed $10 million and still going strong.