A shot!!

It’s been quite a while since I have actually poured my heart out. I have a certain problem with explaining people certain things, may be am too blunt, or I don’t make sense, or people just don’t get it. Lot of times I end up getting frustrated putting across a certain point which ultimately drives me to the extent that I feel like jumping off my building or hang myself to the ceiling fan. But it’s quite strange how few people just have this knack of understanding every bit you say without asking for any further explanations. My Devil, yeah that’s you...My all time favourite agony uncle! Love you so much for being there. I know I exploit our association and take you for granted but am sure you won’t complain. Yes it is quite a relief to know that someone has brains to understand what the fuck you are talking about.
In spite of having hundreds of friends, one feels lonely. There have been times when my parents have irritated me or people close to me have hurt me and at such times I have felt highly remorseful. Even to share a bit of that anger I haven’t been able to find a single genuine good listener. I felt as if I was going to burden a person by telling him/her about my feelings more importantly my sadness. So I chose not to let anyone know and tried to be happy. I am a kind of person who wouldn’t make a huge hue and cry about something and even if I do it will always wear off within minutes. Not that I don’t enjoy sharing but the only problem is that people tend to misinterpret my perception of my own problem which later on becomes problematic during the course of the discussion. For example like yesterday I was telling a friend how I seem to have lost few goals that I had set for myself, few short term goals. And he thought I was suggesting him through my example that he is a loser. These are the times when I feel like an idiot for having initiated a conversation.
I think it’s high time I make a list of things I am often accused of:-
“1) You are hyper and very impulsive.
2 You take things on its face value
3) You complain a lot.
4) You think a lot.
5) You need to loosen up a little.”
This is generally what people around me most of the time tell me. I accept everything and I also try to make a conscious effort of avoiding these instincts.

This post was just a random shot. So I wrote about a host of things. Right from relationships, to human behaviour, to things that I observe and the list might just continue till I feel I am drained out. Till the next one…

Cheers