MY FIRST TIME

This felt good. My very first introduction to this ultra-techo world. THANKS A MILLION MEENAKSHI, there are so many many things that i am grateful about to this girl. like minded, good natured, not a pakaaao !!! she's a doll and well, i hope she remains so. it was very tough to find a 'real' person in my present college. i was in so much awe to b here, but these days its not the same me. i feel i've lost myself. lost myself in the web of so many emotions. some necessary, some extremely unnecessary, the just out-of-curiosity ones. there was a moment when i thot i'd lose myself. i didnt want to let go of my mad mad self. i was damn happy the way i was. i wanted to and stil want to change, as in improve and polish my originalities, not make a new person altogether. people here r so fake. some soooo indifferent, indifferent people r there just everywhre!!! how can their conscience not keep ringing in their mind??? mine does, all the time... and now i'm feeling the urge to be bad... real bad, like selfish and alli tried, i'm trying because its for my own good. i'm getting pressurized coz i want just the opposite of what my mind thinks is rite. and i know i can let go in these areas... i am and i will try not to make myself feel miserable just because of social appreciation, bull-shit!!!! huggoo log sabke sab. i know just the mantra for the time being>> NARAYAN NARAYAN. how does it matter ??? hey kiddo, loosen up, life's there to live, not worry about what others think. So... so... what the **** ???